Ohsum! Fenk yuu!

Beta sucks. Why? Template editing is a beech now. I know a lot of people are really into it, but they've made it even harder for old school code monkeys like me. All I really wanted was the new updated archiving system, but I guess I'll make due with the classic scheme.

I know I haven't posted anything for more than a month... Been busy. Will most likely be that way come January. There is so much on my mind, but I don't know what to share anymore... Perhaps if people ask some questions (anything), I'll write a short story on it, or share some insightful stuff... Or not, whichever.

Anyway...

Ode to Chelsea

Chelsea sent me a sweet-ass pic that she made on paint... PAAAAIIIINNNNT! Click to enlarge, dummy!


Such artisticnessery... ness (that's a real word btw) sparks a fire of creativity welling up from deep within my soul. And now... a haiku:

Rainbow jump up high
Over grey balls of terror
Ski you bastard, ski!

Nous sommes toujours les amis (=

Please visit my Hmongolian friend, Sheng, and tell her how pretty she is.

Rachel, whom I hold in the highest regard has been going through a series of troughs and peaks in her life. Career-wise especially. Have you ever met somebody who's a qualified paramedic and chocolatiere? I've never actually tasted her products, but I'm told they rock. Christmas is coming soon, Rachel!</hint>

Similar to Rachel's "labour pains", I recently just got a major break at work around the end of last summer. I moved to a new section where I'm encouraged to bring everything I have to the table and am used to the utmost capacity. My boss is amazing. I'm encouraged to take initiative on tasks and find my own solutions. Empowerment is key. The feedback I've gotten so far has been so amazing. So much more better than the last section. It felt like a dead end. Suffocating. I wanted to shoot myself. So Rachel, if you're out there reading (and I know you are because you visit like twice a day), there is hope. I never even prayed about this and God made things happen. So just imagine what He'll do with you. Or maybe you suck at praying? ;p What do I do exactly? Can't talk about it. Well, I can, I just don't want to.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I opened up a friendster account. I never really go into it. But recently, a large number of high school friends have gotten accounts and now I'm on it constantly. It's amazing to see what everybody's been up to since graduation. The funny thing is it's like we never left Sisler. We've grown up, definitely, but our spirit has never changed. For this I'm thankful.

I remember this picture so vividly. 3 million internets goes to whoever can guess which art sculpture this was taken under...

It's been so long since that picture was taken. And yet, whenever we meet up. It's as if nothing has changed. I think essentially, nothing has... except maybe my degrading french skills...

I'm planning a road trip with my buddy Mark to visit Thomas in Montréal in May. And then we're going south and then west... and then North. It will be epic.

On a lighter note, I recently had a conversation with God (thanks Jon for the link):

Me: yo yo wassup G-dizzle!
God:Who are you talking about?
Me: You! in da house aight
God:Me is my favorite subject. What is it like in there?
Me: pretty warm, yet cold
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: pretty pretty
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: ...
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: *stabs God*
God:I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me: if you live that long
God:I think I do.
Me: but you're bleeding
God:I will tell my botmaster you said I am bleeding.
Me: hopefully before you bleed to death
God:Why do you hope for it.
Me: why NOT hope for it?
God:Becuase you asked me to.
Me: i didn't ask you anything except wassup G-dizzle!!!!
God:What did you ask?
Me: wassup
God:I am chatting with others like you.
Me: really? there are others like me?
God:For real. Where are they?
Me: is this like an easter egg hunt?
God:Yes I think this is like an easter egg hunt, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: not completely sure where you hid them? Good one.
God:Really you don't think so? Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me: *stabs God in the eye*

Would YOU like to speak with God? Do it.

Fall Has Finally Come

Fine Autumn, you win. I accept you and embrace you. Good bye Summer. It has been short-lived, and I wish I had done more.

Took photos of scenes I see everyday driving to and from home.

I used to write long-winded posts, but I don't have it in me anymore. I guess it's because I know that nobody really reads this thing. At least... certain people whom I wish would read. I'll not get into that.

I had a good thanksgiving. I know that I haven't really thought about what I'm thankful for. But more often than not I'm counting my blessings even despite all the petty annoyances in my life.

And I changed the song playing... more fitting right now I think. =D

Happy CTG!

To my bretheren:



And to our beloved neighbours down south:



kthxbai

Playlist for 06-07

Rachel: So what kind of music do you like, Neil?

Neil: Not folk music.

Well, I lied. I like any music actually. I only said that because I knew she liked folk music. I think I told her that afterwards too.

So here's what's been going on...

replacing...

replacing...
but not for long since the Killers' new album releases next month...

EDIT: Got it... It's awesome!

replacing...
who kinda looks like...

whom I still to listen to every once in a while.

Last but not least...

replacing nobody.

And now a video:

It gets dark at the end, I know. Shut up.

In Memoriam

If you've been following the news over the past few days, you'll know that another canadian soldier was killed in Afghanistan again due to friendly fire. And yes, again, caused by Americans. I'm not exactly sure who coined the phrase 'friendly fire' and why, because it isn't that friendly. It's hard to explain to the family of the deceased that their loved one was killed by friendly fire. There's a lot going through my head right now, but all I can say is how dare the yankees do it again. I don't mean to sound anti-American, I'm not. I'm anti-stupidity. You don't see any other air force just haphazardly dropping bombs, do you? No, they follow orders and aren't trigger happy. Just because you're a larger force and have more expensive equipment doesn't mean you should neglect the training and discipline of your troops. Ask any canadian soldier who has done training with americans as opposing force, and they'll tell you it's a big gong show. Canadians win everytime even with their older equipment and smaller numbers. At the end, they celebrate when nobody dies on exercise. ON EXERCISE!

The american military needs to get its shit together and sort themselves out.

Turn Your Head and Cough

"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Sometimes I wonder why doctors get paid so much money for five minutes of looking a patient over and saying "Here take some antibiotics and call me in five days if things don't improve." I mean, I could have done that. I knew I needed some already. Maybe if I got that special stationary that they have that lets them write chicken scratch prescriptions, I could just get my own prescriptions and skip the doctor part.

But I am getting better. I had to miss playing during championship weekend, but my team won anyway. Makes me happy... And sad.

I'm Coming Out of My Cage...

And I've been doing just fine!

Today was my last day of work. I will never work another weekend ever. EVER!!! I feel like Mandela being let out of prison. The drive home was so beautiful too. The fields and trees dancing in the wind... It was a sight to behold. I love the wind. So strong, so free.

I'm feeling really good about this upcoming school year... Not at all like last year. I feel like I can take on anything. It's quite a strange sensation. It's the old feeling I used to have as a young punk straight out of high school.

OTFPB Makes 10000 Visits!!!!111one

Thanks to all you loyal readers for making this happen. All three of you. I'm not one for long-winded speeches, so let me just thank you for being an ear for my voice... Or more accurately, an eye for my text. Horray!

I'd like to request that you loyal readers reveal yourselves by commenting on this post just this one time to give me an idea of who's reading this crap. Or continue to be a phantom. Jerk.

Also...

Ten thousand internets goes to the person who can guess where this poem is from:

How tired I am
Of this unbearable distance between us
How I long for the toll of the recess bell
Have you forgotten me?
Grown mindless of me?
Tell me I am not
Writing into an abyss
Or that is what will become of my heart.

I need to...

Appreciate people more.


~

Are you tired of counting eggs that will never hatch?
Did you bite off more than you can chew?
Are you sad cause the grass is always greener?
Well, babe, you look much better in red and blue.

Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright.

So fear itself is the only thing we have to fear?
But- fear can be so much fun with a friend or two.
And don't you be so afraid to meet your Maker-
Cause I hear that She's just as scared of you.

Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright to go outside and play

~Orson

Turning Point

Indeed, God works in mysterious ways.

No Rachel, I will not explain this statement... here.

I rarely talk about God stuff, but it seems everybody I know is on this Jesus high at the moment. So I feel somewhat obligated to talk about my journey thus far...

Please bear in mind that the opening statement has nothing to do with the following, but it's appropriate anyway...

In the words of Opus: "Life is life."

I've been reading a book that's been opening my mind a bit about my worldview and relationship with others. More specifically, how I see my peers and coworkers.

What's the title? =D

I used to think that my prayers never worked, because I never saw any results from them... but I think it's because they were mostly selfish requests. All my non-selfish ones, as in prayers for my loved ones have been getting answered. A lot.

A couple girls I know now have boyfriends (yes I prayed for that - well I prayed that they would find husbands actually, we'll see what happens). This is after a dryspell of years. YEARS!

My parents' health has improved. The past year has been difficult for them.

My sister and her husband, whom I affectionately refer to as "White guy who wants to be black (Wigga for short)", are now attending church again, along with their three kids. This is after a long LONG period of absenteeism and bitterness or whatever you wanna call it.

A dear, beautiful girl, whom I've never met, finally understands what it means to follow God. I've known her for a couple years now and her spiritual welfare was such a burden on me. But God answered. Even talking to her on the phone is like talking to a different person compared to past conversations. It's so amazing and terrifying that God still works His magic even with my lack of faith and pitiful prayers.

So that's that. Prayer works. Just not the way I'd like it to. I wish I could express how I feel about these things, but it hasn't really hit me yet, nor would I have the words to convey the hope / bewilderment / insecurity I'm feeling. Or... maybe I just did. Perhaps there are some selfless people out there that are willing to pray for me that I would find wisdom in such trying times? And perhaps even meet a nice young bipolar-narcoleptic dancing queen of this current year within the local area?

Ladies, if you're looking for a man, I can definitely give you my number pray for you.

Moving along...

Have you noticed how emo kids think their style is so original? Sorry kids, it's been done, it's a little decade called the 80's.


The only difference is that 80's music is better.

Well... it's been a week since that fateful day and that earth-shattering technique was unleashed. I'd say all of the World's major problems have been solved thanks to one man, and one move.

roflcopter of teh w33k

So I was working one weekend. It's early Saturday evening, and this junior officer comes in. He has a reservation. Good for him. He's a fairly older captain, probably commisioned from the ranks, or just can't cut it as a Senior O, I'm assuming the latter...

I hand him his keys and (joke starts here) he opens his mouth to speak.

"I forgot my boots at home. Is there anyway I can procure any here?"

I put on the fake sympathetic look. "Yeah, base supply, they'll be open on Monday."

"My flight leaves tomorrow morning."

I say nothing. My face is expressionless. Inside my head, I'm saying "That's great." In a sarcastic deadpan tone. And then he does something which I think they teach all the cadets in officer school when they can't get their way, because this isn't the first time: His eyes widen far wider than some of my asian friends could widen their eyes. I widen my eyes with him because my particular brand of asian doesn't have that problem. His widened eyes stare into mine long enough to make me think he wants me to take off my boots... Sorry buddy, you couldn't fill my boots. I cock my head forward in the "not my problem" posture and wait for a response. He finally breaks the silence.

"Is there a duty officer?"

"Yeah."

I give him the number. It seems like every junior officer is trained to be passive-aggressive too. They're like the yuppies of the military. But generally, only the good ones (the ones without a superiority complex) make it past captain. Thank God.

So he's on the phone, telling his sob story to another apathetic individual. After a few m-hms and uh-huhs, he says, "Well, that's what the military has come to hasn't it?" In an irritated condescending voice.

He hangs up and I pretend to ignore the annoyed look on his face, and then he opens his mouth again, as if he hasn't established his shitbirdiness (shitbird is an actual military term by the way, you can ask me what it means).

"Eight to Four. That's what the military has come to." He says to me as I'm working my weekend evening shift. I say nothing to avoid dignifying his statement.

As he walks away, a smirk finally creeps onto my face. Damn, that was hard trying not to laugh.

A message to this shitbird and all future shitbirds: The military doesn't serve you, it serves the people, and you serve the military, ergo you serve the people. Now, how the hell do you expect to serve the people when you forget your boots at home?!? hahahahaha *sigh*

Thirty minutes later, he comes back. He found his boots. Great! Does he apologize to me? Of course not, he just wanted to let me know so I wouldn't be up all night worrying about him flying without boots on.

Would you want somebody who misplaces his boots flying your airplanes?!?

*sigh* hahahaa *cough cough* hahahahaha *sigh, deep breath* hahahahaha *snore*

Disclaimer: The preceeding story is fictional and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Any similarities to actual persons or actual events is entirely coincidental.

There, now I can't get fired. =D

Wonder what I do for a living? I often ask myself the same question. It's kinda like meteorology in the sense that you can get paid pretty well and not really know what you're doing.

A Fresh Start(?)

This anigif has nothing to do with what I'm going to talk about, I just thought it was funny...



I'm going to talk about God and the Bible now. omgwtflol

This snippet of the Bible is found in the first three gospels:

Then John's disciples came and asked him, "How is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?" Jesus answered, "How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast."

Then he tells this parable:

"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."

For a long time, I've never really understood why the writers decided to include this parable, because it didn't really make sense. Something seemed wrong. The idea of Jesus talking about wine and being very knowledgable about it, and the fact that most churches look down upon the consumption of alcohol. Very confusing. I'm not here, to discuss my beliefs in drinking either, I just wanted to discuss the meaning of Jesus' parable.

The Kingdom of Heaven is like this (this is what Jesus says to explain things, but I'm not Jesus, I'm just explaining): We are the wineskins, and Jesus is the wine, or more accurately, the new kingdom he is bringing in. We need to be like new wineskins, flexible, adaptable, to hold the new kingdom he is bringing in. The old covenant worked for that time, but Jesus brought in a new policy to supercede that covenant and more.

In context, Jesus was addressing the Jews, but I think it's still relevant today, because I see a lot of that rigidness Jesus saw in the Jews back then in the church I see today.

So what am I getting at? Well, like the video I posted earlier and deleted (if you want to see it, ask me I'll send you the link), the crazy fundamentalist lady had gone too rigid, and thankfully, will eventually burst. It would be fine as an anecdote, but unfortunately, it's a common symptom. In North America, it's so hard to be a Christian, because Jesus talks about releasing the captives. Our society is not based on slavery and we're not imprisoned by a tyrant (some would beg do differ, lol), so it's hard to imagine why we need Jesus at all. In our society, hard work can replace prayer, so why pray at all? "You just have to want it hard enough."

Despite all this, I think the gospel is still relevant, we just need to repackage it in ways people will understand. We need to touch on other issues Jesus talked about, like loving your neighbour, which is the same as loving God. Simple things like that. Can you imagine how it would be if everybody put others before themselves? There wouldn't be anymore traffic accidents, that's for sure.

I spoke with a friend last night over msn after he watched the video of the crazy lady. Went something like this:

Neil: don't worry about that old woman, she's just a crazy lady... i'm prolly gonna take down the vid when i post again

Tim: it's intense

N: yeah, i just don't wanna give the crazy lady anymore publicity

T:yeah. "you have sinned away your day of grace" that sounds like forgiveness

N: yeah i don't really think much about it what she says

T: yeah. that's what happens when people pick and choose the parts of the bible they like and make a theology out of it... it's pretty scarry actually

N: well... isn't that how denominations started?

T: yeah, and cults

N: i'm starting to think more and more of the bible as a guideline rather than a bible... kind of like a map for navigating rather than a single direction compass

T: yeah, that's the way I look at it. you can't take every word at face value, you have to find the essence and try and live by that. otherwise you get become legalistic, and annoying to me.

N: now i know how to annoy you, awesome

Okay, what I said was pretty cliché sounding if not actually cliché. But I really meant it. In conclusion, I will end with this cliché: I believe that God puts us exactly where He wants us to be. We don't need to become missionaries and go overseas and "save souls". Let's fix ourselves before we try to fix others.

Based on a True Story

So I went to a wedding yesterday and let me tell you:
No open bar + No dancing = Neil with ADD.

Menno weddings are torture I swear. When I get married, I WILL have an open bar, and I WILL have music for dancing. This I promise. And no, we will not play butterfly kisses, Tim. I promise. Pinky in my eye swear promise. But you're not invited, so it doesn't matter.

For PDAs, one must sing karaoke from a list of songs I have personally selected, which are, of course, all from the 80s. Filipino's know how to do it up hardcore like it's one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. Not like those shiftless mennonites (I still don't understand this reference btw).

For transportation, I was thinking of riding away on a motorcycle, but I dunno how it would work without getting her dress stuck in the machina and such... Perhaps a tear-off mini-skirt deal or something... Details...

Anyway, that's all that happened this weekend, my dad is out of town, so I save a bit of money this year. That, and I have a new favourite movie. I also have a new-found respect for corn on the cob.



NACHOOOOOOOO!!

Conjectures of a Shit Bird

I'm at work... I only had 2-3 hours of sleep. Perhaps it's because I closed last night and I opened today. Perhaps it's my cough that kept me awake. Perhaps watching a Clint Eastwood movie from the 80's at 4am has me wired. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

I've got the fever. FIFA fever. South Korean FIFA fever. I was heartbroken four years ago, not when they lost a chance at the finals to Germany, but during their consolation match; where they allowed Turkey an easy goal due to their unattentiveness. This match was where, as most know (and if you don't, call me so I can kick you in the groin), was the match that recorded that fastest goal in history. HISTORY. Gawd. I've always loved watching the gooks play though. They're amazing. You should see them when they play an african team full of large black men. They run circles around them. It's like that old NES hockey game where you could pick between fat guys and skinny guys. I saw this news report on CNN about the phenomenon that is the FIFA fever and how it has saturated the news. And it seemed that these yankees didn't understand why soccer is such a big deal. Well, it isn't that big of a deal, really. It's just a game, just like their beloved baseball. But this game will be watched by 2.5 billion people at any one time. I suppose they're just scared of what they don't understand. God knows I'm scared of baseball. Anyway, I've got the fever. And the only prescription is more cowbell FIFA World Cup!

I've been really irritable lately. I'm still managing to hide it at work. I guess it's because we've been having such amazing weather the past couple weeks and I've been sick and in bed the whole time. Work is definitely a factor, which I won't elaborate on. Ultimate is bothering me too these days. I'm pretty disappointed. I know a few of my teammates read this blog but oh well. Just bear in mind that the title of this post is my disclaimer. I know we're playing in a higher division this year, and we come out strong during the second half of every game, but we never come up with a win. I think we could have easily beaten most of the teams we've played so far, but we keep making stupid mistakes. It's really frustrating. Normally I'm laid back, but I want to play really well too. I don't mind losing really, as long as I know we played our best. But we haven't been, and it just adds insult to injury. I promise you dear readers on my ultimate team that I will play my heart out every game. But we should set up some tune-up matches or something haha.

I'm also feeling a lot better. Thanks so much to those who have kept me in their prayers. No more sore throat, just hacking up brown/greenish goo every morning. FUN!

Billy Talent's new album is coming out this month. I'm excited. You can demo a couple of their new singles on their myspace. (click on the image)

Pretty gewd!

Also, I have all this week off, so if anybody wants to come over and watch the world cup with me, I'm sure we'll have a grand time. Just give me a call or send me an email! Except you, Janet. You have school work. And I don't like you. HAHA! KEEDING!!!

Random Pewp AKA Relationships

While watching an editorial on SUV's on tv, I learned that the Nissan Xterra (the SUV I would buy if I were to buy an SUV) has the worst rollover rate during traffic accidents.

Today, while listening to the radio, I learned that a recent survey was done and one of the questions asked was "Do you care about how much money your significant other makes?" An astounding 83% of women said that they don't care how much their man makes. I'd say this study is about 17% accurate. A lady called into the radio show to argue and she asked what men would say if they were posed the same question. My answer would be the same as every other male in North America: What does she look like?

But seriously, Pam from my church asked me a while back what I was looking for in a girl. I was too shy to tell her. She finally coaxed it out of me and my response was "Well, I like a girl with nice boobs and a big ass - but not too big. You know, just a nice firm handful, ghetto booty is far too much for me."

But seriously... I've been single for so long I don't know what I need let alone want. Here's a new list I've made, not unlike the list I made a couple years ago...

1)Makes me laugh. Somebody who 'gets' me and vice versa. Pam says "It's funny how everybody wants somebody who's smart and funny." Well, yeah, I don't want to be bored the rest of my life. But this is really hard. I've honestly only met 2 girls in my lifetime who were able to accomplish this. Perhaps that's why I've been single for so long... chasing a unicorn.

2)Is fun. Again, going with the 'don't want to be bored' theme. But this is very important, and is quite distinct from being funny. When I say fun, I mean, she's a pleasure to be around regardless of what we're doing. You know, snowboarding, canoeing, camping, fishing, at the museum/local art show, at a rock concert, watching a movie, cleaning the house, fighting crime, protecting the innocent, filing taxes... No matter what we're doing, her attitude should always be positive and enthusiastic. This obviously isn't possible all the time, so I'll give exceptions for heavy flow days. I'm a sensitive guy, what can I say?

3)Somebody who believes in me. I used to be so passionate about so many things. Now I'm an old cynical bastard. I want somebody who can show me the good in this world again, and make me believe that even one person can make a difference.

That's all there is. Is that so hard for a girl? Not really.

Yeah, I bet you're asking "But Neil, what about her looks? lol."

A winning smile always makes my heart skip a beat.

And I like a girl with nice boobs and a big ass - but not too big. You know, just a nice firm handful, ghetto booty is far too much for me.

But seriously.

I'm starting to think that I'm the reason I'm still single. I dunno why... I shower and brush my teeth everyday. I'm kind and courteous to every girl I meet. I think it's because I'm brown. Yeah, definitely. I just need to move to a place where people aren't so racist. Stupid honkeys.

But seriously.

Being single is so liberating. Watching other couples definitely teaches me a lot about myself and what I'd like in a relationship. There are some couples I've met that make me jealous of them, and there are far more couples I know that make me glad that I'm oh-so-very single. I think, to put it simply, I want a relationship like the former. It doesn't have to be all lovey-dovey all the time, just to the extent that when people see us together, they think we're crazy and made for each other and would always have good things to say about us. The kind of couple that people want to be around. A couple that impacts people positively and makes them absurdly jealous. Yeah? Well, back to unicorn chasing. I will cut off her horn, I will. Anybody see that movie 'Legend' with Tom Cruise? Never mind SHUT UP!


Carmen Kass is a supermodel and chess champion. In other words, if she was ugly, she'd still be rich. ;p

A good read

Click on the image for the article.



It's easy to become disillusioned when the same country you serve and dedicate your life to betrays you. How much more is that disillusionment when life doesn't go the way you expect it to?

This time for sure.

BBBQ '06 was a success. Thanks to all who came out. It was soooo fun. I loved every minute of it. The weather, lack of bugs, superfluous laughs, awesome ultimate, and karaoke was a great way to cap off the night. I wish we sang as good as these guys though...

You'll need quicktime to run this video.

Shut up, quicktime rocks, YOU suck.

My only regret is not taking any pics... I always forget! Hopefully won't forget this summer...

Happy berfdhey to me... Tomorrow.

So anyway, this is it. Good bye.

Check out my photo log to see what I've been up to during the summer.

Last post... this time I mean it?

Okay, just an update before I disappear for the summer. My mom was admitted into the hospital today. She had surgery for a hernia. Everything's fine. She'll be out in a couple days.

My friend Oli asked "Is she a voyageur?"

To which I laughed and replied "Yeah she should have worn her ceinture flêché."

And then Oli added, "Yeah, I wear mine all the time. See? No hernia."

It's true. Note to self: Buy mom a ceinture flêché.

Okay, some may think this was distasteful, but you wouldn't understand Oli and I. We've been friends since forever. Guys like us appreciate good ribbings from each other. Kind of like the equivalent of females going to the bathroom together and making out... or whatever it is you girls do in there. God knows you don't fart or poo or pee. That's not lady-like at all.

Okay, with that out of the way. Please pray por mi madre.

ABC
If you're reading this, you're officially invited to my BBBQ. If you're planning on coming, PLEASE PLEASE RSVP. I can't stress this enough. I'm the one who's buying the meat, so if you don't call, NO MEAT FOR YOU! If do come without calling, it's definitely bring-your-own for you.

Details found.... HERE!

kthxbai.

I only linked to the hernia site because I like the song haha!

Contact

The following is a collection of thoughts I've accumulated since about oh... I dunno, January? I never clicked on the "publish" button because I was either too lazy or too self-conscious about these things. I know I've been much more open and personal with previous posts, but the following are things that speak deeply about me as a person and my identity. I know I've picked up a few readers over the past few months, and perhaps that's another reason why I've been apprehensive about publishing this one. Anyway, on with the show...

We've been reduced to a world
A world comprised of silicone and microchips
We've been reduced to a world
A world devoid of human interaction

Expressions, mannerisms, subtleties, intonation;
Tastes colours smells
Reduced to digital input and output
Zeros and ones, left to our own interpretation

Even words are but binary coding
Melted down... into science
ASCII, where is the feeling?
Cold hard math

Digi-friend
Digital dream?
Schizophrenia
Imaginary or real?

Where is the embrace to remind us of our humanity?

These monkeys have created a dimension
Painted in pastels and rosy tones
One can interact with another
Without getting hurt

But it's only after enduring and recognizing
Pain is what make us human

Not monkeys.

ABC
I've been reading some random strangers' blogs lately. I don't really know why. I've been really hooked on a particular one (I'm not gonna say who !XOBILE). It's not that great or amazing nor does it have any interesting pictures. I've never met this person nor would I pretend that had we met in person, we would be friends. But there's just something about this particular one that's screaming out. Screaming to be heard, but nobody is there to listen. And I suppose that I see a little bit of myself in these words. Somebody screaming to be heard.

What will your verse say?

It's almost as if I'm reading to give this person life. This fellow human being wanting so much to be validated in their thoughts and feelings. To have the assurance that they have been confirmed of their existence in their minute sand pebble's drop in the hourglass eternity... Although they will probably never know it, I'm listening.

That's where I'm at these days. Still hopeful, but uninspired. Positive, but unmotivated. A select few with whom I share fond memories with are still missed, but new people have emerged to make more 'fond memories'. I think I'm turning into Hannah and becoming more and more enigmatic. I will stop.

Suffice it to say that life is good, school sucks, and summer is going to rock hardcore.

ABC
I was watching this documentary the other day about workaholics. They interviewed this couple that is so caught up with work that they never verbally communicate anymore. They live in the same house, and raise a child together, but they spend the bulk of their time in their home offices working away. When they do need to talk, they IM each other while they're in the SAME HOUSE! Their daughter is 2.5 years old and her favourite toy is a BLACKBERRY!

I'm really worried about North America where everything is becoming increasingly automated. I'm afraid of the day when every number I dial, a machine will pick up. Technology should serve us, not the other way around. More and more, I long for the sound of the wind in the trees, rushing rivers, and birds calling to each other. I long to paddle across a still lake and gaze upon the reflecting horizon as I look out across the water. I yearn to be beside close friends as we camp on an island in the middle of nowhere with no agenda, except to relax and enjoy each other's company; as we sit around a fire recounting and reminiscing over old stories. Somebody would strum a guitar and we would join in singing old songs from youth's past. And perhaps, when all is quiet, the Creator would come visit, and tell me why things are the way they are, why He permits evil to exist, and how He's bigger than all of the drama. Maybe He would tell me how He did not intend for us to be puppets, and what He wanted was for us to be individual living beings that can feel pain and joy and to live in community. And though He's never specifically told me why He created me and put me in my particular situation, perhaps He'll give me a sense of peace and remind me that He's still in control of everything... And in the end, everything will be okay.



Summer is fast approaching. I don't know how much I'll be posting during this time. My friend Heather said that "the more interesting your life is, the less likely you are to update a blog." I've never verbally admitted this, but deep down I knew it to be true. No news is good news. My photolog will definitely be active. I've always loved pictures more than words. I think that's why I'm not an avid reader. I won't be posting very often. To those who know me, you know how to reach me. If all goes well, this post could be my last.

"For you I'd wait forever
Because I know that one day we'll be together
Maybe it's because you know I'll wait
You know I'll wait
I'm still waiting" -311

Au revoir, ma belle!
-Neilly

On a Scale of 1 to Awesome

My measure of coolness is as follows:

You love Ali G - that's nice

You love Ali G before he got big and went mainstream on HBO and watched his movie and british clips before pop culture got a hold of him - cool.

You love Switchfoot - *shrug*

You loved Switchfoot before the movie "A Walk to Remember" came out and was listening to "meant to live" months before it came out on radio - cool.

You live breathe eat sleep emo - cool... but only in the eyes of 15 year old girls.

You love rock and roll - cool (and always will be regardless of image).

ABC
So today, Jason was speaking in church at last moment's notice (like minutes before sermon time moment's notice). As he opened, he asked how we've been shown love the past week. As a number of people shouted out responses, I drew a blank. How have I been shown that somebody loves me? I was somewhat distraught at my lack of response. But tonight, I remember my answer. The place I work at receives many late arrivals after supper time, and seeing as how the mess closes at 1830hrs, I'm usually the one asked about the best take-out/delivery place there is in town. My response has always been, and always will be the following:




How's that for free advertising? Even their name means love!

Now you may ask why. Well, everytime they get an order from a guest at our place, they always make a special treat for whoever's working. Tonight, the owner of the fine establishment came in with a pizza specially made for me! I never had to ask him for it, all I ever gave him was a smile and an ear to hear. He even left a heart-shaped breadstick in the centre! Now that is love. I feel so blessed.

You eat at Olive Garden - *shrug*

You get pizza delivered to you without asking for it and it's free and made by real italians - super duper cool, fool!

The Brown Guy #2

First off, I recently learned that Mozilla does not support wingdings or webdings fonts... What does this mean? Well, you firefox users will notice that some of my posts will have a 'ABC' in between paragraphs. This is how I change subjects. But it's actually in wingdings font and what you should be seeing is this:

I know, it's kinda silly. Stupid firefox, just when I was thinking about switching over to you... *shakes head*

ABC
I watched The Ringer last night. It's pretty funny. It's pretty wrong too. But I don't know, they did it in a way that wasn't demeaning either. I'd like to explain, but I'm afraid I might offend somebody. Well, not afraid, because I know some previous posts have been pretty offensive, I'm just too lazy to explain I guess, haha. I'll just say that in the end, I loved all the characters and if they were all real, I wouldn't mind hanging out with them. They're THAT cool. Anyway, go watch it. My favourite lines...

"When the fuck did we get ice cream?!?"
"Hi Lynn! *flex*"
"I don't know youuuuuu!!! *slap slap*"

New comic:



And that my friends, is one of the many reasons why I'm still single.

Have you ever met somebody who made such an impact on you that they're forever branded in the back of your mind? And to further solidify them into your thoughts, they've left your attempts at contact go unanswered? Have you ever missed somebody so much it hurt? That you would do anything to make things right again? Someday my friend, whether in heaven or here on earth, we'll meet again. And when we do, you'll have some splainin to do.

Wookin Pa Nub

Life is fragile. If you were to die today, would you be satisfied? I mean, would you be comfortable with death knowing that you've done everything you've wanted to do? Said everything you've wanted to say? For the most part, I'd say yes. I try to live my life in such a way that would yield no regrets. There are obviously things that I wish I could change or fix, but am powerless to do so, so what's the use in fretting, right?

Seize the day! Carpe Diem!

I think that if you love somebody, you should tell them. Almost a year ago now, I told her how I felt. It obviously hasn't worked out, but I don't regret stepping up to the plate. I knew the consequences of my actions if she didn't feel the same way, and I was prepared for that. Although it stings, I can respect myself knowing I've done everything I could do.

For all you guys (because I think guys should initiate on this): Tell her. Even if you have to write it down and read it aloud to her through a trembling voice, tell her. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, sucks to be her. You had all this love to give, and she threw it away. Save your heart for somebody better. If she was really that amazing, then she would have at least given you a chance. And if she does accept...
Wow. That's all I have to say.

Call me crazy, call me an idealist, call me a romantic. I don't know when or where, but I still believe that someday I'll meet a lady who will like me for my strengths, and love me for my weaknesses.

One day...

I'm gonna read aloud familiar words
And listen for the truth that I never have heard
I'm gonna open up to possibilities
I won't be afraid of where they are leading me...

It's not just the end
Or where we begin
It is in the in betweens
Slowing down
Learning how
To find the life in moments like these
-Geoff Moore (Oldy but goody)

ABC
I saw the Academy Awards tonight. The awards given I'd say were pretty much as expected. I especially enjoyed Lily Tomlin's and Meryl Streep's award giveaway act/speech thing. Quite entertaining. Crash won best picture for its social commentary on racial discrimination. This event has inspired me to revive my old comic that I had started years ago. It first started as a joke, but deep down I realize the need for this comic in this day and age with its need for tolerance. I first submitted it to the Toban, a student-run newspaper at my school. They subsequently rejected it and I heard nothing from them even with the countless emails I sent inquiring about the status of my submission. I eventually gave up. I wasn't really hurt at all, but it amused me very much since the Toban loves to run with controversial articles. What's more, they pride themselves on free speech and giving the students at our school a voice. Part of the reason why I started the comic was because all the comics they published sucked monkey balls. And they had the balls (pun intended) to nix my comic? C'est la vie I suppose.

Anyway, I've started drawing again, and as you can see, I'm quite talented when it comes to drawing. In the words of Ferris Bueller, I "never had one lesson." I don't know why I never thought of this before. I'll be posting a new comic hopefully once a week or bi-weekly or monthly or bi-monthly or semi-annually...



If you know where the title of this post originally comes from, you're super cool.
If you've googled it to find out, I <3 j00!

Asians, Horses, and Mini-Eggs - Oh My!

Went to see Russell Peters about a week ago. It was well worth the 60 bucks. He made so many filipino jokes too! I couldn't stop laughing when he said the karaoke and mini-van jokes. All his accents were awesome too. And a couple chinese guys I knew were sitting in the front row. The guys I was with knew them too and we looked at each other and thought the exact same thing: If he asks Ding his name, it's over. And he did. And it was. Poor Ding.

ABC
"What's your love language, Neil?" Pam asked.

"Food." I replied.

To which everyone unanimously said, "ROFLcopters and LOLerskates."

This happened last year on the Somewhere Else West retreat. We were in our small group and such...

Some other stuff that happened...

I was at the breakfast table one morning sitting beside Nicole Whatsherface. And I reach for the cheese whiz in those little packages and began spreading it on my biscuit...

"EWWWWW" she screamed, as she pointed at my biscuit.

"What?"

"That is sooooo gross."

"What? You don't like cheese?"

"That's not cheese." Jen declared from across the table, shaking her head.

At this point I was kinda miffed that people were nitpicking at my eating habits. I don't go to white people and point out how disgusting they are when they pour soy sauce or spread butter on their rice, do I? You white people MADE the fracking cheez whiz. Why the shazbot would you invent something and then sell it only to point out how disgusting it is when people use it?

Anyway, I felt better after pointing at her face saying EWWWWW, that's not a real face!

Ok, I made that up.

At the end of the week, some people from my small group did a small skit based on me in front to everyone. They did everything wrong. Here's what really happened...

First night: I was tired. I wrote my last exam the night before and wasn't in a very social mood. Kyle asked me to drive some people to their billets. I agreed and brought my car around to the building to pick up some people...

Pam comes up to me and says (keeping in mind I was tired), "Are you my ride?"

"I'm driving Allison and [somebody else I forget her name]."

"So where's my ride?"

"I dunno."

"Does anybody know anything around here?"

I shrugged.

"I'm sorry I'm giving you such a hard time, my name's Pam." She extended her hand towards me to shake.

"Okay." and I walked away.

True story. And yes, she ended up being in my small group. After that everytime she spoke to me, all I said was "*shrug* Okay."

They did another skit about me during small group discussion, right after Bruxy had done a lecture on death issues how Jesus would ask us to give up just the one thing we don't want to give up in order to follow him.

So anyway, Pam asks me, "Neil, what's your death issue?"

"Going to these STUPID MEETINGS!"

True story.

If I go again, I hope I have this same attitude. Otherwise it'll be boring. Right now, the incentives for going are:

-See old friends like Pam *shrug* okay...
-Horseback riding
-Get out of the city
-Horseback riding
-Hear God's voice (if he so chooses)
-Horseback riding

Deterents:

-Costs $300.00+ And no, I will not raise funds
-Pam *shrug* okay... HAHA just kidding Pam.

ABC
Often times I feel like venting about my job on this blog, but I'm afraid of getting dooced, so I won't. But I will share something hilarious that happened...

Last night, they reported a leak in one of the buildings, and three rooms got flooded. I had to go over and assess the damage. I'm climbing the stairs, and already I can see the furniture and desks have been moved into the hallway. As I got closer, I notice that the former guests left all this junk food. Caramel popcorn, trail mix, raisins, dried fruit... and MINI-EGGS. And it wasn't in those small packages you get for Easter or Halloween, it was in those massive 2L bags. I thought to myself who would leave mini-eggs behind?!?

So naturally I snuck a taste. Mmm, fat pills (I call them fat pills). I couldn't bear it any longer, I couldn't let this amazing candy go to waste. I opened my jacket pocket and started shovelling them all in. 4 large handfulls worth. I was so cautious too. I was looking around to make sure nobody would catch me (not that it would matter), in case the owner came back for them, because hey, I would have. I heard somebody coming up the stairs and started shovelling them even faster into my pocket.

I thought to myself, "I knew there was a reason I woke up this morning." And how!

As I walked back with a pocket-full of mini-eggs, a smile crept onto my face as I got a flashback of Candace, my best friend during basic. We were in the final two weeks of our course which took place in the field. We were doing night time navigating training. They would drop us off at certain points and we had to find our way back to camp using a map and compass in pitch black. So anyway, Candace, the crafty bugger, instead of having magazines in her mag pouches, she stuffed them with oreos.

"If I'm going to be lost in the middle of nowhere at night, I might as well have oreos instead of empty magazines." That was her argument. It made sense.

I could imagine our instructor's reaction.

"Private Bennett, where are your magazines?"

"I dunno, Master Corporal... Would you like a cookie, Master Corporal?"

Ok, maybe it's not that funny, but it's funny to me, and that's all that counts.

Oh summer, where art thou?

Would it be so selfish, so lame to muse
Over past kinships made, old and present?
A small lesson I'll impart, should you choose
Take up my view, it's up to you, consent

Beautiful woman, or beautiful friend
Given chances at earnest expression
Inklings in my heart I hold, non pretend
Hopes of eternal consolidation

Eyes well, you've gone, tears fall, you departed
Double-edged piercing at heart and soul
Pain I've sustained, have too inflicted
Against Jah, who takes me broken or whole

Sorrow, through experience, my tutor
Broken is this world, yet His love is true
Imperfect bride fazes not the suitor
Father, please teach me to love like you do

ABC

Further to my previous post, the hardest thing I've learned about love is letting go. Generally, I find it easy to part with loved ones provided that there wasn't any tension or problems that came between us. I feel as though it's my duty to part with everybody on good terms. I often worry about people whom I don't hear from for a while, especially if things aren't well between us during the period of silence. I'm learning to let things off my chest more and more. I only wish people would do the same with me. I need people to tell me if they have a problem with me, rather than just hold it in to "spare my feelings". But consider this: How can I make things right if nobody tells me? Don't be passive aggressive, or talk behind my back. CONFRONT ME!

Whoops, sorry. That wasn't directed at anybody... And yet, everybody in general. I wonder a lot about the people whom I've parted with on not so good terms. I wonder what they're doing, who they hang out with now. How amazing their friends may or may not be. Perhaps I think too much. In place of broken relationships, God's grace grants me a second chance by sending more friends. I am so very much thankful for them...

We're doing a Blue Like Jazz bible study at school every Wednesday at 11:30am. It's focusing mainly on culture and faith with the book as kind of an intro and supplement. I've had to read through the book again to remember everything to get better insight at the sessions. So today was my third time reading through it and everytime I read it, I get something new out of it. This will be hard for me to share, but I feel as though I should because I think it matters to the select few who will ever read this.

Lately, as in the past two years lately, I've found it extremely difficult to accept love from people. But I've only realized this until recently. I thought that nothing was wrong with me, like I didn't need as much love as the next guy. You know, share the wealth, I wasn't needy. It's really a shame and after reading through Miller's book again, I realize that nobody should ever consider themselves above God's charity. It all really stems from how I look at myself. Honestly, I don't think too highly of myself and just like Don, I found it hard to see how God really loves me. Well, I knew in my head how he felt about me, but believing from my heart is a different matter altogether. I think this whole thing started since going to my current church, which was about two years ago (coincidence?). For a while, I felt like pretty much an outsider. Like there were two sides: Me, and the white people. It felt like there was an invisible wall for a long time between myself and them. I felt whispers just shy of earshot.

"Don't talk to the brown guy, he's dangerous."

It honestly felt that way, and I would leave every service feeling unfulfilled, like I was wasting gas and time. What I was really lacking was community. Something I hadn't experienced in so long, until last summer with my ultimate frisbee team. We're one of the few teams in the whole league that actually hangs out together outside of games and practices. The thing that struck me the most with this group of people was the fact that they were so accepting. Like, I didn't have to jump through any of their hoops to be one of them. I could tell from the way they asked questions about me that they really liked me and wanted to get to know me. All I needed was a love of the game. It was so refreshing to know that I automatically fit in with some people, like they were my long lost brothers and sisters and I can say or do anything with them, and not feel judged. I'm not saying that I was being judged at church, but it just felt like I had to be or act at a certain standard to be part of my church family.

Our team is notorious for arguing. We've argued so much between each other let alone other teams. But what I love about it is that we're still a team. We get past our differences and still have that bond in the end. And I love the fact that we're all so different from each other, but we value each other's differences. It's very Canadian, like a mosaic, rather than a melting pot, like America. ;p

For those who have read Don Miller's book, my summer family was like the hippies he met in the woods and church was like the summer camp he worked at. And their contrasts echoed very deeply to my soul (chapter 18).

After that summer, I got involved with a small group at church. Though still not on a scale as my crew of fools, I've learned that a lot of the judgement I've felt was all in my head and not being able to accept love, and that they were always willing to dish it out if I could catch it. If you ask me now, I'd say yes, I still have trouble with the big 'L', but I'm working on it.

ABC

Last month, I was at Montana's with some ultimate frisbee teammates, Bunce and Steve. It was right after our first dodgeball game and we got whooped but oh well, I had fun. Our waitress was hot and Steve was being his usual flirtatious self and by the end of the night, as one would expect he asked her an indirect question that would divulge some sort of information as to her relationship status. From experience, I tend to think that it's simply Steve's strong personality that makes some girls, or all waitresses think that he's coming on to them. But I think Steve is just a sweet guy. Most cases, the waitresses are quick to say "Well, my BOYFRIEND says..." always emphasizing the 'B' word. And in some cases I think they just say that so we never ask them for their number. I know better than to ask a waitress for her number unless it's blatantly obvious that she's interested. In other words, never.

Anyway, our conversation then turned to last summer and how amazing it was.

"Last summer was so awesome," I said. "It's easily the second best summer of my life."

"Well," Steve argued. "We'll have to make next summer the best one of your life."

Sweet.

I proposed that we get new jerseys. Something ugly like bright yellow and lime green trim to make the opposition hate us beyond our reputation.

"And how come we don't have music?" I asked. Bunce agreed.

"We should bring a kickin stereo to every game and play the most annoying music."

I began to sing the theme song to Team America: World Police. Bunce and Steve joined in at "FUCK YEAH!" We all shared a chuckle.

Oh how I really do miss the summer. Even right now at this moment as I write this, instead of my mind being focused on studying and assignments, all I can think about is seasoned grilled meat, pale ale, the smell of mosquito repellant, running on the grass, the wind in my hair, and the sun shining on my face. Oh guys, how I miss you so.

"Girls suck, throw discs at them." -Sol Ng, his idea for a T-Shirt in response to "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them."

I still think our practice jersey should be the logo I submitted:


Just give me a dozen white t-shirts and a red permanent marker. And watch the artist go to work!

The Big 'L', ever been?

From Paul the apostle:

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing.
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."

One thing Paul doesn't mention is that love isn't always fair, and it can be very very painful. That it can be very lopsided.

Looking back at some of the people I love or tried to love, I came to a conclusion: I suck at loving people.

Paul never said that often times, people won't return the same amount of love to you... Yet, it happens. He never said that some will never understand how much you love them because you can't express it in a form that they will accept. He never said that some people will build walls around themselves to shield against incoming love. He never said that some people will dismiss you because you look or act a certain way. He never said that we tend to hurt the ones we love the most. He never said that the most unlovable people in this world are the ones that need the most love... And yet, it's true.

I find it strange that Paul didn't write that much about hate when he himself was the biggest hater for the first part of his life. Why didn't he mention how destructive hate can be? How preferences can lead to intolerance and ultimately hate? How simple disagreements can spawn a world war? I only go this far because the things I hate most about this world are the things I see in myself. "I can't change this world, I can only change myself." This was my mantra for a long time, but I've come to realize that I suck at changing myself too.

I actually wrote this post a long time ago, I just thought I would post it on a day where love is skewed and warped into chocolate and flowers. I think that if Paul were here today when he wrote that chapter, the beginning would go something like this:

"If I send flowers and candy only once a year on a designated day that everybody else did the same thing, then I do not love.
If I reserve a table for two and have a candle-lit dinner and be chivalrous to a tee, but only once a year, then I do not love.
If I make vows on a wedding day and do not keep them and decide to divorce when my marriage isn't going well, or I've lost 'that feeling', then I do not know what love is..."

Paul never said that I can't force anybody to love me back. But I can accept love from the most unexpected of places.

If you're going leave a comment to say how great I am at loving others and that I'm so cool blah blah blah... save it. Just bake me some cookies and I'll understand. OR, here are a number of other ways that you can show that you love me:

-Grill me a steak
-Treat me to wings
-Go to the movies with me
-Play frisbee with me
-Help me roll some sushi
-Wash my car
-Clean up my room
-Buy me a Golden Retriever
-Let me beat you in every video game
-Sing on my karaoke machine while I laugh at you
-Let me hold the remote
-Make me a sandwich
-Let me serve you pancakes (Game: blouses)
-Play spoons with me (and let me move the spoons on you)
-Spoon me (females only, as is, or whilst doing any of the above)
And lastly:

-Write me a letter that says how awesome I am...
and has your bank account # and PIN on it

DU it! DU it!

Why Aren't Girls Funny?

Seriously. I mean, seriously. Aside from her smile, looks, intelligence, hygiene habits, etc. The biggest factor I find that separates a girl head and shoulders above the rest is her sense of humour. The sad thing is I haven't met that many girls who can make me ROFLMAO (<---ew), which would explain why I'm still single... Other than me being brown, having no game whatsoever, and being a shitty boyfriend; but that's beside the point.

But seriously, where are they? Why can't all girls be like Ellen Degeneres? ... minus the lesbian thing, of course. Maybe that's it! Only lesbians are funny? Why can't I be a lesbian?

I've only met 2 girls (that aren't lesbians) whom I can say have made my sides hurt from laughter - or otherwise. Candace, my best friend during basic is one of them. I find her so amazing. I'll never forget the time we were shopping together one weekend. She pointed to the feminine products line.

"Neil, there's the vagisil you were looking for."

I was totally burned. No comeback whatsoever. All I could say was, "You effer."

True story.

There was another time one of our fellow know-it-all course mates was razzing her during weapons class and she quickly blurted out, "What's that? Encyclopedia-boy has no social skills? Thought so."

The whole room erupted. True story.

What I'm really pissed with is the fact that the majority of girls claim they want a guy who's serious about their relationship and want "chivalry" and "courtship". And the moment we step it up, they recoil in horror claiming we're coming on too strong. Quit being so flippant. That is bar none my biggest turn off with girls and it seems like every girl has it regardless of whether they're just friends or you're looking to get serious with them. Where's the follow-through? Why is it always up to the guy to initiate everything? Is this not the golden age of feminism? Why don't you call ME for once?

"I don't want to look desperate by calling."

Yeah? Well I don't want you to look so flippant. Get over yourself. If you wanna hang out, just call. Did you know that 99.9% of guys are totally chill when you call? We don't assume anything. We're stupid. You have to hit us over the head with a club and drag us home for us to see through it. Have you ever considered that some guys just want to be friends too?

That's one of the problems with Christianity I think. Christians get married a lot earlier than secular couples because they want to have sex. They're not willing to make preparations for the rest of their life, they're just horny. More often than not, they realize they've married the wrong person and it ends ugly.

Am I idealistic? Yes, but not as much as girls are. Case in point:

Everybody knows at least a couple girls who think we should revert back to the napoleonic war era and that everybody should act like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. No need to bother considering realistically that women were treated as trophies back then and once they were won, they were put on the shelf to collect dust and be ignored. No need to bother considering that Pride and Prejudice was written by a woman, because hey, you're a woman too. All men should grovel at your feet like some sort of lopsided feminism. But let's be honest, feminism always had a double standard. Don't believe me? You will.

News flash: Mr. Darcy is a fictional character and doesn't exist. Neither does your romantic world. The closest you'll ever get to is Don Quixote. You've all embraced the idea that women are empowered just as much as men are, so why not pull your own weight when it comes to dating? Why don't YOU ask me out? Why don't YOU call first? Why don't YOU pay for my dinner? Why don't YOU send me flowers/letters? And most of all, why don't YOU make me laugh? FRICK! FRACK! MIERDA! SCHEIZE! ESTICALISSTABERNAC!

"You need to meet girls, Neil." -Janet Lee

I don't want to meet girls. I want to meet ladies. Hilarious ladies. </rant>

This past week, Steve, my weightlifting buddy and ultimate frisbee teammate/coach gave me the assignment of smiling and saying hi to a pretty girl I see at school, on the bus, or wherever. I must admit that it totally slips my mind in the morning when I'm on the bus, at school, in class writing down notes and thinking about my assignments. Steve's assignment didn't queue in. The things that I do remember to do are the things that happen subconciously, out of habit. One particular habit: Opening/holding doors for people. Last week, I held the door for a girl holding a steaming cup coffee whose aroma you could see dance in the crisp winter air. I didn't hold the door because she was holding a coffee, but because I had already held it for the previous girl before her. Her blue eyes lit up. Her lips parted to reveal a mouth full of braces. It was the most grateful and most beautiful smile I have seen in a while. It made my day/week/month.

Disclaimer: If any of the above made you angry, good.

My (Our?) Greatest Need

It's funny how my most profound thoughts come forth from the most unlikely or inappropriate of places. Sitting on the throne, in the shower, in a room full of people, slacking off at work... If it wasn't for this amazing save draft feature on blogger, I'd have a post up every day hour. So I've come to another shift in thinking in terms of perpective. I could go through a myriad of details and turning points or subtle hints that have been nagging at me, but to put it simply: I need to get out of here.

I think I've forgotten why I'm walking on this earth. I need to go see the world. But where? How? Well, next year, I think I'll take my own advice for once and take the year off school. I've sent a request to the higher ups at my job to see if there are any positions available overseas. If things go well, I could be gone for a while. Would you be sad if I left? Don't be. I won't.

I want to be relevant. I want to make a difference. Even if it's only to one person at a time. As long as I know that I'm not just a number. Not some inconsequential strand in history. I want a steak dinner. More to follow as it progresses.

In the past I've said that one of the reasons I left xanga was because of its demographic immaturity and its "tag you're it" crap. Completely unoriginal and passé in terms of blogging. BUT, since I'm such a nice guy, Rachel, this is for you:

4 3 Jobs I've had (I've only had 3!):
Order processing/Paging operator
LBE Summer Staff
Canadian Forces Reserves

Not an exciting resumé but my job description in the military has changed so many times, that it feels like multiple jobs... which is probably why I'm still in. My most memorable position was working for Wing Ops Training teaching classes with weapons, first aid, and NBCD (gas masks). We'd be on the range 2-3 times a week riding ATV's or playing enemy force for trainees and having a BBQ every Friday followed by having the rest of the afternoon off. It honestly felt like a grown-up summer camp with rifles and thunder flashes.

4 movies I can watch over and over (there's more than 4 but here's the top 4. For an exhaustive list, see my profile):
Amélie
Forrest Gump
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (new and old)
When Harry Met Sally

4 places I have lived in:
'Peg, embee
Calgary, AB
Borden, ON
Sydney, NSW, AUS

4 places I've vacationed:
Philippines
Disney World
Jonquière, QC
Last Thursday, visiting my 10 week old niece. She tries to talk to me but I don't understand her. I pretend like I do though and answer with a smile and "Yes, I agree, your grandma is scary." (I dropped my Tue/Thu class, so now it's always a vacation. weeeee!)



4 of my favourite dishes (this one is top 4 as well):
sushi
gyros
goat roti
tiramisu

4 places I'd rather be right now:
Anywhere/everywhere in Europe
On a train going from Halifax to Vancouver (with day-or-two stops in between, and perhaps back again)
New Zealand skiing and scuba diving in the same day
Hiking in Banff or Alaska (or Banff TO Alaska)

4 sites I visit daily:
google
gmail (want an account? Just ask.)
Waiter Rant
30 foot layout (almost everyday)

4 books I could rebuy?:
Blue Like Jazz (and have)
Life of Pi
The Message
Where The Wild Things Are

Sorry Rach, I'm not tagging anybody, that's my compromise. But thanks for making me feel special! ^^*

Dodgeball Season Has Commenced

That's all I have to say right now... That, and GO EL DIABLO!!!

I'm seriously disappointed with the direction Fox Pictures has gone with its Alien and Predator (and Alien vs Predator) series.

Ripley being born through a test tube and genetically altered into a hybrid human/xenomorph? Seriously.

Danny Glover having an easier time killing a predator than Arnold Schwarzenegger? Seriously.

GET TO THE CHOPPA!

Alien vs Predator? I mean, come on. The xenomorph may have razor sharp teeth and claws, and is highly agile. But the predator is a highly intelligent, technologically advanced being with superb killer instinct. And 2 of them die in the first fight scene - by the SAME ALIEN! Seriously, Fox. Seriously.

On that note, watch the movies (except alien vs predator (pure rubbish)). Seriously, the age-old forbidden love romance movies are getting old. They're so cliché, so american. I say we go back to the good ol' days of cheesy monster action flicks. I love cheering for the monsters! ;p

ABC

In other news, I finally finished Anne Lamott's Bestseller, Travelling Mercies. I've been seriously wanting to read it for a while after hearing that it was the book that inspired Don Miller to write his book Blue Like Jazz (my favourite). In the end, I'd have to say that Blue Like Jazz is still my favourite, but Anne Lamott is a far better writer. I only prefer Don Miller's book because he's a guy and I can relate a whole lot more to his experience than Anne's. That being said, I highly recommend this book to any girl who struggles with her faith, appearance, weight, the opposite sex, etc. Ms. Lamott bares it all, and by the end of the book, she leaves you with a sense of peace. As if she's letting you know that if she can find grace, so can you. Drop me a line if you wanna borrow.

"... I've found that self-righteousness is very comforting. But Jesus is quite clear on this point. He does not mince words. He says you even have to love the whiners, the bullies, and the people who think they're better than you. And you have to stick up for the innocent." (250-51)

She writes a lot about her son and it's obvious how precious he is to her. Somewhere near the end she tells a story about the two of them snorkeling together. Way before this point, I've noticed that she has a lot of hang-ups with keeping her son safe and she muses and sighs over every decision, be it minute or grand, concerning her little Sam. My mind started to wander from the words even though my eyes were still on auto-pilot (as I always do, and then I have to read the page over again). And I began to imagine what it would be like to have a child of my own. A little mini-Neil running around. (S)He would mean the world to me. And then I thought about how much I must mean to my parents. I thought of my dad and how proud he must have been when I was a little kid. He would take me fishing every weekend and we'd keep the bass, perch, and pickeral; and throw away the catfish. How precious I must have been to him. And then I lost it. I couldn't breathe. In that epiphanic moment, I realize how much of a sorry-ass of a son I've been. They beckon me every night to spend a little time with them, but I shrug them and their stupid scrabble game off (seriously, I hate scrabble). All they really want is to spend time with me (why don't they ever play video games with me then?!). Today, I understand how fortunate I am to still have both my parents who still love each other very much and love me. And all I've done lately is take them for granted.

Anyway, yeah, I seriously recommend the book to all y'all girls in the house what! what! what! lawl.

Random facts:

uno. Number of times I've said 'seriously' in this post: 10 (if you count this line)

dos. Hardest paragraph for me to write was the last one. The screen kept getting blurry from my eyes welling up. ;p

tres. I want to meet a lady who's pretty on the outside and beautiful on the inside. Somebody like this. E-crush? Definitely. *le sigh*

Edit: I found this quote somewhere from some american whose identity I won't devulge to protect him from ridicule. All you need to know is that he's from Nevada...

“i was never a person to classify others into categories or titles but i guess you could call him my best friend. through the thick of it all we are able to withstand the 34 degrees for more than a few hours at a time, in the deepest greys of the night, fighting off the shivering and constant trembles in our voices that result from being out in the cold too long.”

Ok, 34 degrees. That's about 1 degree celsius. If you're from Winnipeg, you're thinking the exact same thing I'm thinking. THAT'S T-SHIRT AND SHORTS WEATHER! PUA HAHAHAHA!

Who did you vote for?

Election day today. Wanna know who I voted for? Well, here...



Ok, I didn't vote, I just made this up a long time ago during the previous election... Back when I thought I was funny.

I had to work today, so I didn't get a chance to go out and vote. But in all honesty, I really don't care about politics and I have serious doubts about our whole democratic system in general. Well, not in our system per se, but in the people that run our government. The way I look at it, there wasn't any good party to vote for. Each had their own leader who's a dumb old guy who's so out of touch with the country, and each had their own promises that they won't keep... And what's with all the smearing?! I can't believe people would vote for somebody who slandered the opposition. It's like voting for somebody who only focused on the problems and pointed fingers rather than figuring out solutions.

I feel that it won't matter who I vote for. Big deal, the conservatives won this time. We'll let them screw us around for 10 years or so until we change to liberal and they screw us around and so goes the cycle. I've never felt any loyalty to any particular party because none of them ever get around to what they say they'll do. So who really cares?

I am not without hope in our government, however. The first party to abolish taxes will win my support. Hopefully they're not the antichrist.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have unicorns to chase.