Nous sommes toujours les amis (=

Please visit my Hmongolian friend, Sheng, and tell her how pretty she is.

Rachel, whom I hold in the highest regard has been going through a series of troughs and peaks in her life. Career-wise especially. Have you ever met somebody who's a qualified paramedic and chocolatiere? I've never actually tasted her products, but I'm told they rock. Christmas is coming soon, Rachel!</hint>

Similar to Rachel's "labour pains", I recently just got a major break at work around the end of last summer. I moved to a new section where I'm encouraged to bring everything I have to the table and am used to the utmost capacity. My boss is amazing. I'm encouraged to take initiative on tasks and find my own solutions. Empowerment is key. The feedback I've gotten so far has been so amazing. So much more better than the last section. It felt like a dead end. Suffocating. I wanted to shoot myself. So Rachel, if you're out there reading (and I know you are because you visit like twice a day), there is hope. I never even prayed about this and God made things happen. So just imagine what He'll do with you. Or maybe you suck at praying? ;p What do I do exactly? Can't talk about it. Well, I can, I just don't want to.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I opened up a friendster account. I never really go into it. But recently, a large number of high school friends have gotten accounts and now I'm on it constantly. It's amazing to see what everybody's been up to since graduation. The funny thing is it's like we never left Sisler. We've grown up, definitely, but our spirit has never changed. For this I'm thankful.

I remember this picture so vividly. 3 million internets goes to whoever can guess which art sculpture this was taken under...

It's been so long since that picture was taken. And yet, whenever we meet up. It's as if nothing has changed. I think essentially, nothing has... except maybe my degrading french skills...

I'm planning a road trip with my buddy Mark to visit Thomas in Montréal in May. And then we're going south and then west... and then North. It will be epic.

On a lighter note, I recently had a conversation with God (thanks Jon for the link):

Me: yo yo wassup G-dizzle!
God:Who are you talking about?
Me: You! in da house aight
God:Me is my favorite subject. What is it like in there?
Me: pretty warm, yet cold
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: pretty pretty
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: ...
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: *stabs God*
God:I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me: if you live that long
God:I think I do.
Me: but you're bleeding
God:I will tell my botmaster you said I am bleeding.
Me: hopefully before you bleed to death
God:Why do you hope for it.
Me: why NOT hope for it?
God:Becuase you asked me to.
Me: i didn't ask you anything except wassup G-dizzle!!!!
God:What did you ask?
Me: wassup
God:I am chatting with others like you.
Me: really? there are others like me?
God:For real. Where are they?
Me: is this like an easter egg hunt?
God:Yes I think this is like an easter egg hunt, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: not completely sure where you hid them? Good one.
God:Really you don't think so? Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me: *stabs God in the eye*

Would YOU like to speak with God? Do it.

Fall Has Finally Come

Fine Autumn, you win. I accept you and embrace you. Good bye Summer. It has been short-lived, and I wish I had done more.

Took photos of scenes I see everyday driving to and from home.

I used to write long-winded posts, but I don't have it in me anymore. I guess it's because I know that nobody really reads this thing. At least... certain people whom I wish would read. I'll not get into that.

I had a good thanksgiving. I know that I haven't really thought about what I'm thankful for. But more often than not I'm counting my blessings even despite all the petty annoyances in my life.

And I changed the song playing... more fitting right now I think. =D

Happy CTG!

To my bretheren:



And to our beloved neighbours down south:



kthxbai

Playlist for 06-07

Rachel: So what kind of music do you like, Neil?

Neil: Not folk music.

Well, I lied. I like any music actually. I only said that because I knew she liked folk music. I think I told her that afterwards too.

So here's what's been going on...

replacing...

replacing...
but not for long since the Killers' new album releases next month...

EDIT: Got it... It's awesome!

replacing...
who kinda looks like...

whom I still to listen to every once in a while.

Last but not least...

replacing nobody.

And now a video:

It gets dark at the end, I know. Shut up.

In Memoriam

If you've been following the news over the past few days, you'll know that another canadian soldier was killed in Afghanistan again due to friendly fire. And yes, again, caused by Americans. I'm not exactly sure who coined the phrase 'friendly fire' and why, because it isn't that friendly. It's hard to explain to the family of the deceased that their loved one was killed by friendly fire. There's a lot going through my head right now, but all I can say is how dare the yankees do it again. I don't mean to sound anti-American, I'm not. I'm anti-stupidity. You don't see any other air force just haphazardly dropping bombs, do you? No, they follow orders and aren't trigger happy. Just because you're a larger force and have more expensive equipment doesn't mean you should neglect the training and discipline of your troops. Ask any canadian soldier who has done training with americans as opposing force, and they'll tell you it's a big gong show. Canadians win everytime even with their older equipment and smaller numbers. At the end, they celebrate when nobody dies on exercise. ON EXERCISE!

The american military needs to get its shit together and sort themselves out.

Turn Your Head and Cough

"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Sometimes I wonder why doctors get paid so much money for five minutes of looking a patient over and saying "Here take some antibiotics and call me in five days if things don't improve." I mean, I could have done that. I knew I needed some already. Maybe if I got that special stationary that they have that lets them write chicken scratch prescriptions, I could just get my own prescriptions and skip the doctor part.

But I am getting better. I had to miss playing during championship weekend, but my team won anyway. Makes me happy... And sad.

I'm Coming Out of My Cage...

And I've been doing just fine!

Today was my last day of work. I will never work another weekend ever. EVER!!! I feel like Mandela being let out of prison. The drive home was so beautiful too. The fields and trees dancing in the wind... It was a sight to behold. I love the wind. So strong, so free.

I'm feeling really good about this upcoming school year... Not at all like last year. I feel like I can take on anything. It's quite a strange sensation. It's the old feeling I used to have as a young punk straight out of high school.

OTFPB Makes 10000 Visits!!!!111one

Thanks to all you loyal readers for making this happen. All three of you. I'm not one for long-winded speeches, so let me just thank you for being an ear for my voice... Or more accurately, an eye for my text. Horray!

I'd like to request that you loyal readers reveal yourselves by commenting on this post just this one time to give me an idea of who's reading this crap. Or continue to be a phantom. Jerk.

Also...

Ten thousand internets goes to the person who can guess where this poem is from:

How tired I am
Of this unbearable distance between us
How I long for the toll of the recess bell
Have you forgotten me?
Grown mindless of me?
Tell me I am not
Writing into an abyss
Or that is what will become of my heart.

I need to...

Appreciate people more.


~

Are you tired of counting eggs that will never hatch?
Did you bite off more than you can chew?
Are you sad cause the grass is always greener?
Well, babe, you look much better in red and blue.

Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright.

So fear itself is the only thing we have to fear?
But- fear can be so much fun with a friend or two.
And don't you be so afraid to meet your Maker-
Cause I hear that She's just as scared of you.

Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright to go outside and play

~Orson

Turning Point

Indeed, God works in mysterious ways.

No Rachel, I will not explain this statement... here.

I rarely talk about God stuff, but it seems everybody I know is on this Jesus high at the moment. So I feel somewhat obligated to talk about my journey thus far...

Please bear in mind that the opening statement has nothing to do with the following, but it's appropriate anyway...

In the words of Opus: "Life is life."

I've been reading a book that's been opening my mind a bit about my worldview and relationship with others. More specifically, how I see my peers and coworkers.

What's the title? =D

I used to think that my prayers never worked, because I never saw any results from them... but I think it's because they were mostly selfish requests. All my non-selfish ones, as in prayers for my loved ones have been getting answered. A lot.

A couple girls I know now have boyfriends (yes I prayed for that - well I prayed that they would find husbands actually, we'll see what happens). This is after a dryspell of years. YEARS!

My parents' health has improved. The past year has been difficult for them.

My sister and her husband, whom I affectionately refer to as "White guy who wants to be black (Wigga for short)", are now attending church again, along with their three kids. This is after a long LONG period of absenteeism and bitterness or whatever you wanna call it.

A dear, beautiful girl, whom I've never met, finally understands what it means to follow God. I've known her for a couple years now and her spiritual welfare was such a burden on me. But God answered. Even talking to her on the phone is like talking to a different person compared to past conversations. It's so amazing and terrifying that God still works His magic even with my lack of faith and pitiful prayers.

So that's that. Prayer works. Just not the way I'd like it to. I wish I could express how I feel about these things, but it hasn't really hit me yet, nor would I have the words to convey the hope / bewilderment / insecurity I'm feeling. Or... maybe I just did. Perhaps there are some selfless people out there that are willing to pray for me that I would find wisdom in such trying times? And perhaps even meet a nice young bipolar-narcoleptic dancing queen of this current year within the local area?

Ladies, if you're looking for a man, I can definitely give you my number pray for you.

Moving along...

Have you noticed how emo kids think their style is so original? Sorry kids, it's been done, it's a little decade called the 80's.


The only difference is that 80's music is better.

Well... it's been a week since that fateful day and that earth-shattering technique was unleashed. I'd say all of the World's major problems have been solved thanks to one man, and one move.

roflcopter of teh w33k

So I was working one weekend. It's early Saturday evening, and this junior officer comes in. He has a reservation. Good for him. He's a fairly older captain, probably commisioned from the ranks, or just can't cut it as a Senior O, I'm assuming the latter...

I hand him his keys and (joke starts here) he opens his mouth to speak.

"I forgot my boots at home. Is there anyway I can procure any here?"

I put on the fake sympathetic look. "Yeah, base supply, they'll be open on Monday."

"My flight leaves tomorrow morning."

I say nothing. My face is expressionless. Inside my head, I'm saying "That's great." In a sarcastic deadpan tone. And then he does something which I think they teach all the cadets in officer school when they can't get their way, because this isn't the first time: His eyes widen far wider than some of my asian friends could widen their eyes. I widen my eyes with him because my particular brand of asian doesn't have that problem. His widened eyes stare into mine long enough to make me think he wants me to take off my boots... Sorry buddy, you couldn't fill my boots. I cock my head forward in the "not my problem" posture and wait for a response. He finally breaks the silence.

"Is there a duty officer?"

"Yeah."

I give him the number. It seems like every junior officer is trained to be passive-aggressive too. They're like the yuppies of the military. But generally, only the good ones (the ones without a superiority complex) make it past captain. Thank God.

So he's on the phone, telling his sob story to another apathetic individual. After a few m-hms and uh-huhs, he says, "Well, that's what the military has come to hasn't it?" In an irritated condescending voice.

He hangs up and I pretend to ignore the annoyed look on his face, and then he opens his mouth again, as if he hasn't established his shitbirdiness (shitbird is an actual military term by the way, you can ask me what it means).

"Eight to Four. That's what the military has come to." He says to me as I'm working my weekend evening shift. I say nothing to avoid dignifying his statement.

As he walks away, a smirk finally creeps onto my face. Damn, that was hard trying not to laugh.

A message to this shitbird and all future shitbirds: The military doesn't serve you, it serves the people, and you serve the military, ergo you serve the people. Now, how the hell do you expect to serve the people when you forget your boots at home?!? hahahahaha *sigh*

Thirty minutes later, he comes back. He found his boots. Great! Does he apologize to me? Of course not, he just wanted to let me know so I wouldn't be up all night worrying about him flying without boots on.

Would you want somebody who misplaces his boots flying your airplanes?!?

*sigh* hahahaa *cough cough* hahahahaha *sigh, deep breath* hahahahaha *snore*

Disclaimer: The preceeding story is fictional and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Any similarities to actual persons or actual events is entirely coincidental.

There, now I can't get fired. =D

Wonder what I do for a living? I often ask myself the same question. It's kinda like meteorology in the sense that you can get paid pretty well and not really know what you're doing.

A Fresh Start(?)

This anigif has nothing to do with what I'm going to talk about, I just thought it was funny...



I'm going to talk about God and the Bible now. omgwtflol

This snippet of the Bible is found in the first three gospels:

Then John's disciples came and asked him, "How is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?" Jesus answered, "How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast."

Then he tells this parable:

"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."

For a long time, I've never really understood why the writers decided to include this parable, because it didn't really make sense. Something seemed wrong. The idea of Jesus talking about wine and being very knowledgable about it, and the fact that most churches look down upon the consumption of alcohol. Very confusing. I'm not here, to discuss my beliefs in drinking either, I just wanted to discuss the meaning of Jesus' parable.

The Kingdom of Heaven is like this (this is what Jesus says to explain things, but I'm not Jesus, I'm just explaining): We are the wineskins, and Jesus is the wine, or more accurately, the new kingdom he is bringing in. We need to be like new wineskins, flexible, adaptable, to hold the new kingdom he is bringing in. The old covenant worked for that time, but Jesus brought in a new policy to supercede that covenant and more.

In context, Jesus was addressing the Jews, but I think it's still relevant today, because I see a lot of that rigidness Jesus saw in the Jews back then in the church I see today.

So what am I getting at? Well, like the video I posted earlier and deleted (if you want to see it, ask me I'll send you the link), the crazy fundamentalist lady had gone too rigid, and thankfully, will eventually burst. It would be fine as an anecdote, but unfortunately, it's a common symptom. In North America, it's so hard to be a Christian, because Jesus talks about releasing the captives. Our society is not based on slavery and we're not imprisoned by a tyrant (some would beg do differ, lol), so it's hard to imagine why we need Jesus at all. In our society, hard work can replace prayer, so why pray at all? "You just have to want it hard enough."

Despite all this, I think the gospel is still relevant, we just need to repackage it in ways people will understand. We need to touch on other issues Jesus talked about, like loving your neighbour, which is the same as loving God. Simple things like that. Can you imagine how it would be if everybody put others before themselves? There wouldn't be anymore traffic accidents, that's for sure.

I spoke with a friend last night over msn after he watched the video of the crazy lady. Went something like this:

Neil: don't worry about that old woman, she's just a crazy lady... i'm prolly gonna take down the vid when i post again

Tim: it's intense

N: yeah, i just don't wanna give the crazy lady anymore publicity

T:yeah. "you have sinned away your day of grace" that sounds like forgiveness

N: yeah i don't really think much about it what she says

T: yeah. that's what happens when people pick and choose the parts of the bible they like and make a theology out of it... it's pretty scarry actually

N: well... isn't that how denominations started?

T: yeah, and cults

N: i'm starting to think more and more of the bible as a guideline rather than a bible... kind of like a map for navigating rather than a single direction compass

T: yeah, that's the way I look at it. you can't take every word at face value, you have to find the essence and try and live by that. otherwise you get become legalistic, and annoying to me.

N: now i know how to annoy you, awesome

Okay, what I said was pretty cliché sounding if not actually cliché. But I really meant it. In conclusion, I will end with this cliché: I believe that God puts us exactly where He wants us to be. We don't need to become missionaries and go overseas and "save souls". Let's fix ourselves before we try to fix others.

Based on a True Story

So I went to a wedding yesterday and let me tell you:
No open bar + No dancing = Neil with ADD.

Menno weddings are torture I swear. When I get married, I WILL have an open bar, and I WILL have music for dancing. This I promise. And no, we will not play butterfly kisses, Tim. I promise. Pinky in my eye swear promise. But you're not invited, so it doesn't matter.

For PDAs, one must sing karaoke from a list of songs I have personally selected, which are, of course, all from the 80s. Filipino's know how to do it up hardcore like it's one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. Not like those shiftless mennonites (I still don't understand this reference btw).

For transportation, I was thinking of riding away on a motorcycle, but I dunno how it would work without getting her dress stuck in the machina and such... Perhaps a tear-off mini-skirt deal or something... Details...

Anyway, that's all that happened this weekend, my dad is out of town, so I save a bit of money this year. That, and I have a new favourite movie. I also have a new-found respect for corn on the cob.



NACHOOOOOOOO!!

Conjectures of a Shit Bird

I'm at work... I only had 2-3 hours of sleep. Perhaps it's because I closed last night and I opened today. Perhaps it's my cough that kept me awake. Perhaps watching a Clint Eastwood movie from the 80's at 4am has me wired. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

I've got the fever. FIFA fever. South Korean FIFA fever. I was heartbroken four years ago, not when they lost a chance at the finals to Germany, but during their consolation match; where they allowed Turkey an easy goal due to their unattentiveness. This match was where, as most know (and if you don't, call me so I can kick you in the groin), was the match that recorded that fastest goal in history. HISTORY. Gawd. I've always loved watching the gooks play though. They're amazing. You should see them when they play an african team full of large black men. They run circles around them. It's like that old NES hockey game where you could pick between fat guys and skinny guys. I saw this news report on CNN about the phenomenon that is the FIFA fever and how it has saturated the news. And it seemed that these yankees didn't understand why soccer is such a big deal. Well, it isn't that big of a deal, really. It's just a game, just like their beloved baseball. But this game will be watched by 2.5 billion people at any one time. I suppose they're just scared of what they don't understand. God knows I'm scared of baseball. Anyway, I've got the fever. And the only prescription is more cowbell FIFA World Cup!

I've been really irritable lately. I'm still managing to hide it at work. I guess it's because we've been having such amazing weather the past couple weeks and I've been sick and in bed the whole time. Work is definitely a factor, which I won't elaborate on. Ultimate is bothering me too these days. I'm pretty disappointed. I know a few of my teammates read this blog but oh well. Just bear in mind that the title of this post is my disclaimer. I know we're playing in a higher division this year, and we come out strong during the second half of every game, but we never come up with a win. I think we could have easily beaten most of the teams we've played so far, but we keep making stupid mistakes. It's really frustrating. Normally I'm laid back, but I want to play really well too. I don't mind losing really, as long as I know we played our best. But we haven't been, and it just adds insult to injury. I promise you dear readers on my ultimate team that I will play my heart out every game. But we should set up some tune-up matches or something haha.

I'm also feeling a lot better. Thanks so much to those who have kept me in their prayers. No more sore throat, just hacking up brown/greenish goo every morning. FUN!

Billy Talent's new album is coming out this month. I'm excited. You can demo a couple of their new singles on their myspace. (click on the image)

Pretty gewd!

Also, I have all this week off, so if anybody wants to come over and watch the world cup with me, I'm sure we'll have a grand time. Just give me a call or send me an email! Except you, Janet. You have school work. And I don't like you. HAHA! KEEDING!!!

Random Pewp AKA Relationships

While watching an editorial on SUV's on tv, I learned that the Nissan Xterra (the SUV I would buy if I were to buy an SUV) has the worst rollover rate during traffic accidents.

Today, while listening to the radio, I learned that a recent survey was done and one of the questions asked was "Do you care about how much money your significant other makes?" An astounding 83% of women said that they don't care how much their man makes. I'd say this study is about 17% accurate. A lady called into the radio show to argue and she asked what men would say if they were posed the same question. My answer would be the same as every other male in North America: What does she look like?

But seriously, Pam from my church asked me a while back what I was looking for in a girl. I was too shy to tell her. She finally coaxed it out of me and my response was "Well, I like a girl with nice boobs and a big ass - but not too big. You know, just a nice firm handful, ghetto booty is far too much for me."

But seriously... I've been single for so long I don't know what I need let alone want. Here's a new list I've made, not unlike the list I made a couple years ago...

1)Makes me laugh. Somebody who 'gets' me and vice versa. Pam says "It's funny how everybody wants somebody who's smart and funny." Well, yeah, I don't want to be bored the rest of my life. But this is really hard. I've honestly only met 2 girls in my lifetime who were able to accomplish this. Perhaps that's why I've been single for so long... chasing a unicorn.

2)Is fun. Again, going with the 'don't want to be bored' theme. But this is very important, and is quite distinct from being funny. When I say fun, I mean, she's a pleasure to be around regardless of what we're doing. You know, snowboarding, canoeing, camping, fishing, at the museum/local art show, at a rock concert, watching a movie, cleaning the house, fighting crime, protecting the innocent, filing taxes... No matter what we're doing, her attitude should always be positive and enthusiastic. This obviously isn't possible all the time, so I'll give exceptions for heavy flow days. I'm a sensitive guy, what can I say?

3)Somebody who believes in me. I used to be so passionate about so many things. Now I'm an old cynical bastard. I want somebody who can show me the good in this world again, and make me believe that even one person can make a difference.

That's all there is. Is that so hard for a girl? Not really.

Yeah, I bet you're asking "But Neil, what about her looks? lol."

A winning smile always makes my heart skip a beat.

And I like a girl with nice boobs and a big ass - but not too big. You know, just a nice firm handful, ghetto booty is far too much for me.

But seriously.

I'm starting to think that I'm the reason I'm still single. I dunno why... I shower and brush my teeth everyday. I'm kind and courteous to every girl I meet. I think it's because I'm brown. Yeah, definitely. I just need to move to a place where people aren't so racist. Stupid honkeys.

But seriously.

Being single is so liberating. Watching other couples definitely teaches me a lot about myself and what I'd like in a relationship. There are some couples I've met that make me jealous of them, and there are far more couples I know that make me glad that I'm oh-so-very single. I think, to put it simply, I want a relationship like the former. It doesn't have to be all lovey-dovey all the time, just to the extent that when people see us together, they think we're crazy and made for each other and would always have good things to say about us. The kind of couple that people want to be around. A couple that impacts people positively and makes them absurdly jealous. Yeah? Well, back to unicorn chasing. I will cut off her horn, I will. Anybody see that movie 'Legend' with Tom Cruise? Never mind SHUT UP!


Carmen Kass is a supermodel and chess champion. In other words, if she was ugly, she'd still be rich. ;p

A good read

Click on the image for the article.



It's easy to become disillusioned when the same country you serve and dedicate your life to betrays you. How much more is that disillusionment when life doesn't go the way you expect it to?

This time for sure.

BBBQ '06 was a success. Thanks to all who came out. It was soooo fun. I loved every minute of it. The weather, lack of bugs, superfluous laughs, awesome ultimate, and karaoke was a great way to cap off the night. I wish we sang as good as these guys though...

You'll need quicktime to run this video.

Shut up, quicktime rocks, YOU suck.

My only regret is not taking any pics... I always forget! Hopefully won't forget this summer...

Happy berfdhey to me... Tomorrow.

So anyway, this is it. Good bye.

Check out my photo log to see what I've been up to during the summer.

Last post... this time I mean it?

Okay, just an update before I disappear for the summer. My mom was admitted into the hospital today. She had surgery for a hernia. Everything's fine. She'll be out in a couple days.

My friend Oli asked "Is she a voyageur?"

To which I laughed and replied "Yeah she should have worn her ceinture flêché."

And then Oli added, "Yeah, I wear mine all the time. See? No hernia."

It's true. Note to self: Buy mom a ceinture flêché.

Okay, some may think this was distasteful, but you wouldn't understand Oli and I. We've been friends since forever. Guys like us appreciate good ribbings from each other. Kind of like the equivalent of females going to the bathroom together and making out... or whatever it is you girls do in there. God knows you don't fart or poo or pee. That's not lady-like at all.

Okay, with that out of the way. Please pray por mi madre.

ABC
If you're reading this, you're officially invited to my BBBQ. If you're planning on coming, PLEASE PLEASE RSVP. I can't stress this enough. I'm the one who's buying the meat, so if you don't call, NO MEAT FOR YOU! If do come without calling, it's definitely bring-your-own for you.

Details found.... HERE!

kthxbai.

I only linked to the hernia site because I like the song haha!

Contact

The following is a collection of thoughts I've accumulated since about oh... I dunno, January? I never clicked on the "publish" button because I was either too lazy or too self-conscious about these things. I know I've been much more open and personal with previous posts, but the following are things that speak deeply about me as a person and my identity. I know I've picked up a few readers over the past few months, and perhaps that's another reason why I've been apprehensive about publishing this one. Anyway, on with the show...

We've been reduced to a world
A world comprised of silicone and microchips
We've been reduced to a world
A world devoid of human interaction

Expressions, mannerisms, subtleties, intonation;
Tastes colours smells
Reduced to digital input and output
Zeros and ones, left to our own interpretation

Even words are but binary coding
Melted down... into science
ASCII, where is the feeling?
Cold hard math

Digi-friend
Digital dream?
Schizophrenia
Imaginary or real?

Where is the embrace to remind us of our humanity?

These monkeys have created a dimension
Painted in pastels and rosy tones
One can interact with another
Without getting hurt

But it's only after enduring and recognizing
Pain is what make us human

Not monkeys.

ABC
I've been reading some random strangers' blogs lately. I don't really know why. I've been really hooked on a particular one (I'm not gonna say who !XOBILE). It's not that great or amazing nor does it have any interesting pictures. I've never met this person nor would I pretend that had we met in person, we would be friends. But there's just something about this particular one that's screaming out. Screaming to be heard, but nobody is there to listen. And I suppose that I see a little bit of myself in these words. Somebody screaming to be heard.

What will your verse say?

It's almost as if I'm reading to give this person life. This fellow human being wanting so much to be validated in their thoughts and feelings. To have the assurance that they have been confirmed of their existence in their minute sand pebble's drop in the hourglass eternity... Although they will probably never know it, I'm listening.

That's where I'm at these days. Still hopeful, but uninspired. Positive, but unmotivated. A select few with whom I share fond memories with are still missed, but new people have emerged to make more 'fond memories'. I think I'm turning into Hannah and becoming more and more enigmatic. I will stop.

Suffice it to say that life is good, school sucks, and summer is going to rock hardcore.

ABC
I was watching this documentary the other day about workaholics. They interviewed this couple that is so caught up with work that they never verbally communicate anymore. They live in the same house, and raise a child together, but they spend the bulk of their time in their home offices working away. When they do need to talk, they IM each other while they're in the SAME HOUSE! Their daughter is 2.5 years old and her favourite toy is a BLACKBERRY!

I'm really worried about North America where everything is becoming increasingly automated. I'm afraid of the day when every number I dial, a machine will pick up. Technology should serve us, not the other way around. More and more, I long for the sound of the wind in the trees, rushing rivers, and birds calling to each other. I long to paddle across a still lake and gaze upon the reflecting horizon as I look out across the water. I yearn to be beside close friends as we camp on an island in the middle of nowhere with no agenda, except to relax and enjoy each other's company; as we sit around a fire recounting and reminiscing over old stories. Somebody would strum a guitar and we would join in singing old songs from youth's past. And perhaps, when all is quiet, the Creator would come visit, and tell me why things are the way they are, why He permits evil to exist, and how He's bigger than all of the drama. Maybe He would tell me how He did not intend for us to be puppets, and what He wanted was for us to be individual living beings that can feel pain and joy and to live in community. And though He's never specifically told me why He created me and put me in my particular situation, perhaps He'll give me a sense of peace and remind me that He's still in control of everything... And in the end, everything will be okay.



Summer is fast approaching. I don't know how much I'll be posting during this time. My friend Heather said that "the more interesting your life is, the less likely you are to update a blog." I've never verbally admitted this, but deep down I knew it to be true. No news is good news. My photolog will definitely be active. I've always loved pictures more than words. I think that's why I'm not an avid reader. I won't be posting very often. To those who know me, you know how to reach me. If all goes well, this post could be my last.

"For you I'd wait forever
Because I know that one day we'll be together
Maybe it's because you know I'll wait
You know I'll wait
I'm still waiting" -311

Au revoir, ma belle!
-Neilly

On a Scale of 1 to Awesome

My measure of coolness is as follows:

You love Ali G - that's nice

You love Ali G before he got big and went mainstream on HBO and watched his movie and british clips before pop culture got a hold of him - cool.

You love Switchfoot - *shrug*

You loved Switchfoot before the movie "A Walk to Remember" came out and was listening to "meant to live" months before it came out on radio - cool.

You live breathe eat sleep emo - cool... but only in the eyes of 15 year old girls.

You love rock and roll - cool (and always will be regardless of image).

ABC
So today, Jason was speaking in church at last moment's notice (like minutes before sermon time moment's notice). As he opened, he asked how we've been shown love the past week. As a number of people shouted out responses, I drew a blank. How have I been shown that somebody loves me? I was somewhat distraught at my lack of response. But tonight, I remember my answer. The place I work at receives many late arrivals after supper time, and seeing as how the mess closes at 1830hrs, I'm usually the one asked about the best take-out/delivery place there is in town. My response has always been, and always will be the following:




How's that for free advertising? Even their name means love!

Now you may ask why. Well, everytime they get an order from a guest at our place, they always make a special treat for whoever's working. Tonight, the owner of the fine establishment came in with a pizza specially made for me! I never had to ask him for it, all I ever gave him was a smile and an ear to hear. He even left a heart-shaped breadstick in the centre! Now that is love. I feel so blessed.

You eat at Olive Garden - *shrug*

You get pizza delivered to you without asking for it and it's free and made by real italians - super duper cool, fool!