We are teh winz!!!

We are the Champions
Originally uploaded by Niaru.

A beautiful cap to an awesome summer. For me, it was a bit dramatic. This summer started off with a couple disappointments and was starting to look pretty bleak. But I just shrugged it off and decided to make the best of it. For that, I'm grateful especially for my team who showed me how true spirit can overcome conflict between each other and within ourselves. The answer isn't 'out there', it's within us. Only by coming together, forsaking ourselves, could we have achieved such a great community of friends from different walks of life. Of course, there have been confrontations, but they were all with the intent of wanting to improve. I'm thankful to God for keeping me free from injury and blessing me with such beautiful friends. He has always been faithful to me despite my lack thereof. Every weekend has been filled with something crazy... I've been to church about 3 times this summer and have barely spoken to Him. But I know the way He feels about me and how He sees me hasn't changed. I'm His son.

Indeed, the 30 foot machine will be a force to be reckoned with next year. Winners of 'D' division baby. BEST OF THE WORST!!!

WHAT!

Goofy Boys
Originally uploaded by rodeworks.

How long has it been? I've been busy. But no news is good news in this case. I've felt A LOT like this guy many times this summer. So many things have been happening lately, that I don't know where to start. SO, instead of me writing an essay to put you to sleep, I'll just refer you to my photo site. Pictures tell stories in themselves. The link is on the side as well. I update it every couple weeks usually. Though I don't know how much I'll be uploading once school starts but we'll see, we'll see.

I'm thankful for my ultimate frisbee team. This summer would have sucked had I not met them. We're all a bunch of goofs just like the boys in the above picture. I love them. Until next time...

WAR OUT MENG!

I miss school. Scary, I know.

Wrote this at work (click to enlarge)...

One day... My room WILL be clean. ;p

Evidence

Extravagant. adj

1. Given to lavish or imprudent expenditure;
2. Exceeding reasonable bounds, excessive, unrestrained;
3. Extremely abundant, profuse;
4. Unreasonably high, exorbitant;
5. Straying beyond limits or bounds.

Lately and often, this phrase has been permeating my mind: "Love extravagantly." I hadn't the faintest clue why until I came upon this verse:

"Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious, but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that."
-Ephesians 5:2

Too often, I've felt that I needed compensation for loving somebody. I expected too much. To love extravagantly means to love intentionally and deeply. But we can't. At least... not in the state we're in. Only upon realizing how much God loves us - deeply and immeasurably can we in turn love others the same way.

Hermit Mode: Disengaged.

Room's still a mess, bathroom's still filthy. BUT, I don't feel like shit anymore. Dunno what happened, nor can I try to explain. This earthly body seems to yearn for constancy and the only way it can possibly achieve it is by going through a swing of hills and valleys. I know He listens to me, even though He never answers me directly, I know He smiles on me, especially during the dark times of my life when I search for answers and find none, and yet... continue to press forward. Gonna go to my buddy's cabin for the weekend. Catch some rays (as if I need anymore ;p), toss some disc, enjoy the water. Life is both dreadful and beautiful. Much love, London.

Pictures will be up next week. OH, and whoever left those bible verses in my comments on my last post and didn't leave their name... HOW DARE YOU! And thanks. =D

Live your life.

Hermit Mode: Engaged.

The room is in shambles, my bathroom's filthy. I haven't done my laundry in two weeks. I generally feel like shit. I dunno what's happened, nor can I try to explain. My passion is gone. Food has lost its flavour, songs have lost their meaning. Friends at this point seem... well, pointless. And worst of all... is that I miss Him.

"Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can get back up."
-Alana Fife, my old high school friend

Indeed, I have hit rock bottom. Or have I? Kinda scary if I haven't.

I'm mad at Him. Disappointed in some major things that have happened in my life. Angry that He never answers me. I haven't heard His voice in years. Do I dare say that I don't love Him anymore? I miss the passion that I used to have. All I wanted in life was to be happy. But I still don't know what makes me happy. I'm frightened to death that I might not ever know. All I wanted from Him was to tell me what I should do. Give me a vision, like You did, 6 years ago.

Her name is Hunter. She's an idealist, like me. She's in the military, like me. Grew up in Winnipeg, like me. Works in the same office, like me. Funny how when I asked her what an idealist like her was doing in the military, she had the same answer, like me: "I don't know."

Wyatt Earp: All I ever wanted was to live a normal life.

Doc Holiday: There's no normal life, Wyatt, there's just life. Now live it, up to the hilt.

Pray for me?

Les GunZ!

I wanted to take this time to advertise a game that I think I've fallen in love with. Not since my Counter-Strike days have I been so addicted! And the best part about it is that it's free! GunZ is an action shooter MMORPG game like no other. It boasts superb crisp graphics which looks like it runs off the Half Life engine, and with the new update, the sounds of weapons fire and shells falling sounds so much more fuller. Weapons range from pistols to SMG's to rifles, shotguns, heavy machine guns and even grenade launchers! The coolest thing are the blades where you can wield daggers, swords or even two swords at a time! In addtion to picking weapons, you'll also have the choice of wardrobe all with their own special attributes and styles. Of course, your choice of weapons and clothing will vary as you progress up the levels.

I first saw this game in action at my friend's house and my initial impression was that it was a cross between Max Payne and the Matrix. And indeed you can be like Neo with the air dashing and running up and along walls and dodging gun fire and smooth mélé acrobatics. Everything short of stopping bullets. I highly recommend that anybody with a decent comp and broadband connection, and is into swift action like you see in the movies to try out this game. It's definitely worth the five minute download. And if you ever do sign up, drop me a line, I'll add you as a friend and show you the ropes. You'll be shooting and slicing it up like a pro in no time!

Thine Long Weekend Hath Pass't

Hung out with my ultimate frisbee team this past weekend. Fun was had by all. Beach on Friday, our own fireworks show at night. Victoria Beach on Saturday, karaoke at night. Grand on Sunday, hail storm in the afternoon. Crazy. Oh, and I got heat stroke on Saturday. So fun. Click on the image to see more craziness.

Me vs Calgary

Had last weekend off from work, went to Cow-Town for an ultimate frisbee tournament. One of the most inspiring weekends of my life. For many, it was a big drunken orgy. But for me, it was way more than that. A chance to get away and not think about my daily routines and responsibilities. Our team went undefeated on Saturday, and then lost to a very quick but very spirited team in the semi-finals on Sunday. I'm glad we lost this way. They were such a great team and so fun to play with. Not like the team we played before them. Much too intense. There were so many accidents that game. I smoked a girl (whom I didn't see coming from behind), and another guy on their team got smoked in the face by the frisbee. But they were all accidental, yet they started cussing out making it look like our fault. The girl I smoked launched an F-bomb as she lay on the ground, and all the remorse I felt soon evaporated. But all in all, I haven't had so much fun in so long.

Funny stuff:

Rachel: hey, do you remember what i started calling you when i finally realized that you weren't ever gonna call me rebecca?

Neil: Nelson.

Rachel: ahhhhhhh...i had forgotten THANK YOU NELSON!

Neil: np

Rachel: lol, how're you doing?

Neil: I was playing with nelson over the weekend actually

Rachel: did you see tyson when you were in alb?

Neil: you know nelson chan?

Rachel: nope

Neil: who's tyson?

Rachel: tyson from nav's?

Neil: oh that tyson. no. i was in an ultimate tournament

Rachel: fun! ... do you know (blanked out as per Rachel's request)?

Neil: we went to china town saturday night ... no i don't

Rachel: :(

Neil: and i got fishballs

Rachel: he plays ultimate and he's a really hot doctor!

Neil: and chinese pork buns

Rachel: "slash" med student ... nice... were they good? i don't like fish so much. "not so good al..."

Neil: and curry puff cakes ... and then we went back and had dinner at the ulti event ... and then there was bbq chicken, ribs, and pot roast ... and taco salad ... and coleslaw ... and baked potatoes with all the trimmings

Rachel: and you ate a lot i see

Neil: and then we had free beer*

Rachel: always good

Neil: they kept coming by the pitchers

Rachel: but not for me b/c i hate beer

Neil: and then we went back to china town

Rachel: and you got wicked drunk

Neil: and had noodles

Rachel: and sobered up

Neil: and curry noodles

Rachel: and i'm having my own convo while you talk about food

Neil: i didn't get crazy drunk

Rachel: just a little sloshed.... :p

Neil: i had a couple coolers and i had a buzz going ... but not drunk

Rachel: yechhhh.

Neil: we were all in the van on the way to china town ... and we were all buzzed or drunk ... except the driver of course

Rachel: good to know

Neil: because he was training for master's league ... anyway everything we said in the van was hilarious because we were messed ... and i started talking with a chinese accent because the driver was chinese ... and i kept calling him anko ... uncle with a chinese accent

Rachel: nasty boy

Neil: and then i suggested we go to banff ... and everybody cheered

Rachel: you're nuts

Neil: except for the driver ... so we just ate noodles ... and i went to bed all bloated from food and alcohol

Rachel: +o(

Neil: and i took 2 dumps and 3 leaks the next morning

Rachel: i feel sick just reading that ... things i don't want nor need to know

Neil: the best weekend of my life

Rachel: pitiful ... :p

Neil: you're just jealous you didn't have fun

Rachel: lol

Neil: because the company made it so great ... it wasn't the food or the beer or even the ultimate ... it was the people ... i've never met such spirited people on or off the field ... christians can learn from their example

Rachel: what? to drink and behave stupidly?

Neil: no, to be great sportsman despite losing and always complimenting the other team when they do well ... to have a great sense of humour and being able to laugh about themselves when they screw up ... having grace for other people when they get injured and clapping them off when they get off the field

Rachel: oh, that's good.

*Contrary to popular belief, beer does not taste better when it's free.

Regret

My weary mind tends to wander every once in a while... to the past. I wonder how things would be like if only I had done this. If only I had said this. Or even, if only I hadn't. I guess I'm still trying to figure out which is worse: wrongful action, or wrongful inaction. I want to believe that the latter is, but it sure doesn't feel that way. One thing's for certain, the only thing worse than these two things combined is a really good and vivid memory.

The next day...

I awoke from my nap. I clambered up the steps and looked out the window. I groan from exhaustion. Not from physical exhaustion, but from sleeping too long. The week has gone by so fast. A devilish whirl of disappointments turned hopeful by the meeting of unexpected old friends. More remnants of my past. We talk. I feel connected to this world once more. Fond memories no longer feel like dreams - and yet, at this point seem all too surreal. Was I meant to be happy? Was anybody meant to be happy? Were all these unexpected turns in my life actually part of something greater? My heart wants desperately to believe so, but the world around me tells me "No, Neil. This is simply life. It's fucked up. Get over it."

And then I think about all the people I've met, how they've all impacted me one way or another. Would I have met these great and wonderful people had I not strayed from the road of ambition and selfishness? The answer is a clear and resounding no. And so I count my blessings for all the people I've met. Whether it was a dream or not, my memory keeps them alive in my heart. I sit and I pray.

I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone - no children, no family, no friends - yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, "Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?" More smoke. A bad business.

It's better to have a partner than go alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there's no one to help, tough!

Two in bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

By yourself you're unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.

-Ecclesiastes 4:7-12

I've made up my mind. The goal is clear. I seek...

A best friend - with benefits.

...not those kinds of benefits, silly!

Team photo minus Captain

Team photo minus Captain
Originally uploaded by Niaru.

Still undefeated, BOTCH!

Ewe dew

Yesterday: Rain.
Today: Rain.
Next week: Rain.

Of course it would be nice to have the sun while playing outside. But lately, I've begun to appreciate this life-giving precipitation. All this rainfall reminded me of one of God's promises.

"Job*, are you listening? Have you noticed all this?
Stop in your tracks! Take in God's miracle-wonders!
Do you have any idea how God does it all,
how he makes bright lightning from dark storms,
How he piles up the cumulus clouds -
all these miracle-wonders of a perfect Mind?
Why, you don't even know how to keep cool
on a sweltering day,
So how could you even dream
of making a dent in that hot-tin-roof-sky?"
-Job 37:14-18

*I like to change Job's name for mine, whenever I read his book. Try it with yours!

Bought a cd...



I likes.

And what's the deal with Coldplay? Why is everybody so into them? Do people think it makes them so cool just because they listen to Coldplay? Gross.

*hides newly bought Coldplay cd behind back, innocent smile*

Friends?

Lots of things have been happening this week. A crazy storm in my life. But I know I'll get through it somehow. He's taken me thus far already. And I know from experience that He's in control of everything. All I can do... is smile.

I've been contemplating lately about all my friends. Are relationships just borne out of convenience? Like in high school, I was in french immersion and so our class was together ever since kindergarten. We've been through ups and downs and after we graduated, that was it. I haven't seen any of them since - except for a couple guys whom I still barely keep in touch with. We meet up like twice a year and we carry on like nothing's changed and we reminisce about the good old days. But it's saddening that we don't hang out often because I really enjoy their company.

It seems to me that friends are friends until they stop trying. I keep saying to myself: If I really love this person, I won't give up on them, because God never gave up on me. Even still, it's hard to keep trying, because these eyes of mine don't see very far. And what happens when they don't try? It's like that person passed away. Gone forever... until heaven. I know I'm not making any sense.

Annie, I know that you'll probably never read this but...
I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
I miss you.

Things will probably never be the same...
All I can offer you... is this.

Today at church, I learned...

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

The "Ultimate" Update

So I'm a half hour into my shift here at work and already I'm bored. Good thing I bought this book entitled The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. I read through the first chapter during my last shift and already I can't tell you how good this book is. Everybody should read this book, it's crazy.

But enough about that. I thought I'd use this post to let everybody know how things are going with my ultimate frisbee team. On my old blog I had made a prayer request that I would be a good witness to my team because I didn't think that there was any Christians on my team... which was fine. But it turns out that there are a couple who are Christians! PTL? Definitely. It takes less pressure off me to be a good example to them and for me to be myself - not that I would act any different but it's comforting to know that there are others on the team who share the same faith as I do. All in all, it looks like it's going to be an awesome summer. I'm really looking forward to this break.

Have I said how much I love my team? I really really love them. The story of how I got involved with them is great too. I emailed my buddy Lee, whom I've been playing some pick up games with the past couple years, telling him I wanted to join a league team this year. He replied back saying there wasn't anymore room on his team so he referred me to Steve's team, the team I'm currently on. Most of us are a bunch of riff raffs with no league experience whatsoever, save for a couple people who are hardcore. The league coordinator put us in the 'D' division aka the bottom of the barrell. BIG MISTAKE. The last two games we played, we completely slaughtered the competition. I have a feeling that we're going to get bumped up eventually. So anyway, Lee, the guy who shrugged me off, found out how much fun we're having on our team and he joined MY team. My, how the tables have turned. Irony can be such bliss sometimes.

I love Steve, the captain. He's a school teacher, and so during practice I call him Mr. Shylo because he's the one that drills us.

I love Laura, with her gift of hospitality. The awesome time we had at her house drinking beer and working out at the same time (I don't recommend that anybody does this), and watching Starsky and Hutch.

I love Janet, with her hardcore workouts and techniques. We played pool at Laura's and she made this rule where everytime we missed a shot, we had to do 10 pushups. And then when it was her turn to do pushups, she wormed her way out of it.

I love Sol, with his crazy Karaoke singing from Backstreet Boys to POD. He has a great sense of humour. I love when he does his chinese accent.

I love Eric, the way he mumbles and I can barely understand him half the time. I'm usually reading his lips and when he turns away I'm like "uhhh... *nods*".

I love Adam, how he never gets off the field even though he's gasping for air and looking like he's going to collapse.

I love Tri, he's so frickin lazy on the field and yet does a marvelous job of defending and handling the disc. Poetry in motion.

I love Sonia, how everytime I throw a long bomb to her she manages to catch it. One time I threw a pass intended for Janet and Sonia caught it! She reads the pass very well.

I love Jeff, and his Starsky and Hutch impressions. DU IT! DU IT!

I love Eugene, and his willingness to learn. He's caught on so quickly over the past couple of weeks.

I love Erin, and her towering height. She'll catch any high pass!

I love Lee, and the irony he brings. I'm glad that I finally get to play with him, my initial hope in the first place.

And lastly, I love you who read all the way to the end.

What about me, you ask? Well, for anybody who knows me, they would say that I make a fine addition to the team.

GO 30 FOOT! HOO-AH!!!

*sigh*

So I've finally semi-officially switched to the better blog site. As my first semi-official post, I would like to make it known that this site is still a work in progress and that the layout is prone to change at anytime. You need not panic, however, as I'm still learning CSS and it's just me messing around in order to learn more gooder. I think I'm going to miss xanga *gasp* in the way that there was a sense of community there... but there was too much rigidness and limitations on the freedom of design. Google doesn't mess around with this "premium membership" crap and instead offers almost all of xanga's premium services for free. That was the main reason for me switching over. That, and the fact that everybody can comment on my posts now, instead of just members of the community. Isn't that exciting? No? Well, my mom says I'm cool.