Close Encounters of the... Divine Kind

Last week, my friend Annie (the same Annie who sent me the dummy string) called me up and told me of a life-changing revelation she had. She had encountered God in a turning-point kind of way while on this conference of some sort. She was sketchy with the details of the whole thing and its secrecy led me to believe that it was some sort of fight club that nobody is supposed to talk about. In any case, she shared with me her revelation of the Almighty in a way that I wasn't prepared for, to say the least. I was at a loss for words after she had finished talking to the point where she might have thought I wasn't listening or didn't understand.

"I want to be a praying woman, because I never pray."

Those words were enough to tell me that somebody had doused gasoline on the small flame that was inside of her. A flame that had been burning at the end of its rope. I sensed a deep change within her from the tone of her voice almost as if I was talking to somebody I've never met before. Amidst her on-and-off weeping and murmering, she relayed the rest of her experience to me.

As I hung up, I was completely dumbfounded. It was a lot for me to digest. I began to reflect on my relationship with God. Where had I gone wrong? Have I gone wrong? Why doesn't God ever speak to me in such a way that would stir up passion within me? Where had my passion gone?

The truth is that I've been through those "Oh my God" moments before many times myself. It's hard to explain the feeling of utter exuberance from becoming a new person and seeing everything you've seen before in a different light. And yet those memories will be forever etched in my mind.

My thoughts then jumped to what Curtis (a Nav's staffer) told me during the Somewhere Else Retreat almost a year ago now. It had been right after one of those "Oh my God" moments where there was much crying and praying and empowerment. I had not gotten any dramatic revelation from the G-man that night and was kind of disappointed in the whole retreat considering it was our last night at the camp and the next day we were packing it all up to go home. Later that night, the session had long been over and most of us were in our bedtime attire already. It was a very non-chalant and yet intimate kind of setting as we sat in a circle of couches with a number of other guys.

"I don't experience those moments anymore... It's not that God doesn't speak to me in that way, it's just that I don't chase after it or fully give myself to that moment." Curtis declared.

After a very enlightening discussion, it felt as if God was tapping me on the shoulder, as if to tell me, "Neil, you're ok."

And after that night, I understood. Although I appreciate the moments of spiritual bliss, I realize that the darkest and most painful times of my life are where I've grown the most spiritually, as a person, and in character. God will reveal himself to us in the way he sees fit. It's true, some may never experience him in a dramatic way like Annie has, and yet just a hint of him is enough to spark a lifelong change in some people. Still others might need a kick in the butt to realize that he's there. I'll be the first to admit that I need a kick in the groin to be convinced of his presence.

Everybody's relationship with God is different. God has placed us all on different paths and some of our paths will intersect. Some will divide. Some may never cross. But in the end, I think the big guy has everything under control. Intuitively, I feel that all our paths will ultimately lead to some sort of revelation of his nature.

In no way am I saying that Annie's experience is totally bunk. I'm very glad for her because I had been praying for her for a long time that God would give her some sort of passion. And he's answered. But I think something can be learned from Curtis' example. Incidently, I thought Curtis was the most hilarious guy at the retreat... next to my fist.

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward - to Jesus."
-Phil. 3:12-13

I want to hear from you. Where, if at all, have you experienced an "Oh my God" moment? Was there a catalyst in your relationship with Jesus? What has he taught you lately about your relationship with him? Whether you have or haven't, do you feel these moments are necessary (example)? Write as much as you like, but bear in mind that I prefer quality over quantity.

Anne Lamott said that the two best prayers she knows are "Help me, help me, help me." and "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

God, thank you for Annie. Help me to keep her fire burning.