This morning, I left a banana in the front seat of my car as I strolled away for class. Two hours later it was frozen rock solid. As I picked up the banana and began hitting the dashboard with it to test its firmness, an old Simpsons episode flooded my mind. A smirk crept onto my face. One of those guilty smirks like when you're caught singing in the shower - not that that's ever happened to me... Anyway, the dialogue went like this.
Officer Lou: There's a couple of guys fighting at the aquarium, Chief.
Wiggum: They still sell those frozen bananas?
Officer Lou: I think so.
Wiggum: Let's roll.
I always smile when I think about this. I have no idea why.
But my prayer for you, is that you would never cease to pursue the frozen bananas in your life.
And now, something completely random that my buddy Oli sent me (don't click on his name, his site is ridiculously outdated):
LET'S ROLL!
Monday, February 05, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Why Men Marry: Revealed
By Lisa Daily
Why (and who) do men choose to marry? How do men define happily ever after? Are men really commitment-phobic and sex-obsessed?
In a new book entitled VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment (Simon & Shuster, 2007) author Neil Chethik examines the findings from a national survey of married men, including in-depth interviews with 70 men and a survey of another 288. And some of his findings just might surprise you.
Why Do Men Marry?
Contrary to what some of my girlfriends have said, men do not marry for free laundry service. According to VoiceMale, "Men propose marriage primarily because they want the physical, emotional and intellectual companionship of a woman. Men like company."
Are men commitment-phobic? Not with the right woman. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nine out of 10 men will marry in their lifetime. And according to the VoiceMale survey, "Men do the proposing 85 per cent of the time. At least formally, it is overwhelmingly men who initiate the marriage commitment."
Can you drag a man to the altar? Not likely. According to Chethik, "Men entertain the idea of marriage only when they're ready." And these days, men judge readiness as a "flagging interest in the singles scene." One man quoted in VoiceMale stated, "One morning I woke up next to a woman who could have been a Playboy model, and I didn't want her."
Where Do They Meet the Women They're Going to Marry?
What's more, according to Chethik's survey, "A man who knows within a month of meeting a woman that he wants to marry her is likely to be happier in the marriage than a man who takes longer to decide."
Do Married Men Get Enough Sex?
The stereotypes are true. Most married men don't get as much sex as they'd like. (Although in fairness, many single men don't get as much sex as they'd like either.)
However, the solution for all the sex-starved husbands might be as close as the broom closet. According to the VoiceMale survey, "The more satisfied a wife is with the division of household duties, the more satisfied a man is with his marital sex life." That's right guys, there's nothing sexier than a man who knows how to use a toilet brush.
In the honeymoon phase (the first three years) men are generally happy with their sex lives (54 per cent get it at least three times a week, and eight per cent get it every day!). But the childrearing years (years four-20) are the toughest for men sexually.
The number of men having sex three times per week drops to 24 per cent. The next stage of marriage (years 21-35) brings with it an increase in sex, 29 per cent of men report their wives have an equal sex drive. And finally, in the last stage of marriage (35 years or more) the frequency of sex drops considerably, but 88 per cent of men are satisfied with their sex lives during this phase of marriage.
As far as happily ever after is concerned, you might be interested to know that 93 per cent of the men surveyed by Chethik said if given the chance, they'd marry the same woman all over again. Now who's afraid of commitment?
So what about me?
I'd be lying if I said that I'm not the type that wants to settle down and have oodles of kids. And I do agree with the article. My problem, which I realized a couple months ago, is that I'm SUPER picky. There have been a handful of "potential" girls that have caught my fancy, but never enough for me to take that extra step and say "Hey baby, you're pretty, let's date! EESO SHEEM-PO!"
I used to think that maybe I'm not attractive enough or that I lacked something that girls look for, but in hindsight, the truth is that I just let all the girls in my life slip by thinking that there's bound to be a better one to come along. That's not to say that I've never been smitten. I've had my share of those too.
At this moment, there is a lady, whom the very sight, or even smell of her, just melts my heart. She's the type that makes me excited to get out of bed in the morning. The type that would compel me to jump in front of a moving vehicle if it meant that she would spend a day with me in the hospital. And that leads me to my other problem. Whenever I meet a girl whom I think would make a good sig-O, I tense up and can't relax around her. I can't take it easy. And when I try to tell her how I feel, it always comes out wrong because I'm such a wreck when I finally get up the nerve, and she ends up thinking I'm a psychopath and stops returning my phone calls. Make no mistake, when I fall for somebody, I fall - hard... On my face to be exact.
So what will I do with this girl? Take it slow I guess. Pick the right time to tell her? Who knows. Maybe I'll wait until we're both drunk, and I'll be brave enough to tell her without messing it up, and then she won't remember what I said the next day - nor will I. Yeah, good idea.
Why (and who) do men choose to marry? How do men define happily ever after? Are men really commitment-phobic and sex-obsessed?
In a new book entitled VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment (Simon & Shuster, 2007) author Neil Chethik examines the findings from a national survey of married men, including in-depth interviews with 70 men and a survey of another 288. And some of his findings just might surprise you.
Why Do Men Marry?
Contrary to what some of my girlfriends have said, men do not marry for free laundry service. According to VoiceMale, "Men propose marriage primarily because they want the physical, emotional and intellectual companionship of a woman. Men like company."
Are men commitment-phobic? Not with the right woman. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nine out of 10 men will marry in their lifetime. And according to the VoiceMale survey, "Men do the proposing 85 per cent of the time. At least formally, it is overwhelmingly men who initiate the marriage commitment."
Can you drag a man to the altar? Not likely. According to Chethik, "Men entertain the idea of marriage only when they're ready." And these days, men judge readiness as a "flagging interest in the singles scene." One man quoted in VoiceMale stated, "One morning I woke up next to a woman who could have been a Playboy model, and I didn't want her."
Where Do They Meet the Women They're Going to Marry?
- 24% of husbands met their wives in school
- 18% met their wives at a social event, such as a party or wedding
- 18% were introduced to their wives by friends
- 23% of men married in the last three years met their wives at work
- 6% met their wives at a bar (Who says you never meet someone nice at a bar!)
- 4% met their wives at church, synagogue or another religious setting
- 1% met online. "Because of the newness of online dating, no studies have yet been completed on whether marriages that begin online are more or less successful in the long term than those that start in more traditional ways."
What Do Men Look for in a Future Wife?
Surprisingly, beauty was not the most important criteria for a man in choosing a wife. Sure, beauty attracts, and attraction is crucial, but the most important factors men look for in a woman are a positive outlook and self-confidence. Also high on the list were brains (hallelujah!), self-respect, motherliness and for some, devoutness to faith.What's more, according to Chethik's survey, "A man who knows within a month of meeting a woman that he wants to marry her is likely to be happier in the marriage than a man who takes longer to decide."
Do Married Men Get Enough Sex?
The stereotypes are true. Most married men don't get as much sex as they'd like. (Although in fairness, many single men don't get as much sex as they'd like either.)
However, the solution for all the sex-starved husbands might be as close as the broom closet. According to the VoiceMale survey, "The more satisfied a wife is with the division of household duties, the more satisfied a man is with his marital sex life." That's right guys, there's nothing sexier than a man who knows how to use a toilet brush.
In the honeymoon phase (the first three years) men are generally happy with their sex lives (54 per cent get it at least three times a week, and eight per cent get it every day!). But the childrearing years (years four-20) are the toughest for men sexually.
The number of men having sex three times per week drops to 24 per cent. The next stage of marriage (years 21-35) brings with it an increase in sex, 29 per cent of men report their wives have an equal sex drive. And finally, in the last stage of marriage (35 years or more) the frequency of sex drops considerably, but 88 per cent of men are satisfied with their sex lives during this phase of marriage.
As far as happily ever after is concerned, you might be interested to know that 93 per cent of the men surveyed by Chethik said if given the chance, they'd marry the same woman all over again. Now who's afraid of commitment?
***
So what about me?
I'd be lying if I said that I'm not the type that wants to settle down and have oodles of kids. And I do agree with the article. My problem, which I realized a couple months ago, is that I'm SUPER picky. There have been a handful of "potential" girls that have caught my fancy, but never enough for me to take that extra step and say "Hey baby, you're pretty, let's date! EESO SHEEM-PO!"
I used to think that maybe I'm not attractive enough or that I lacked something that girls look for, but in hindsight, the truth is that I just let all the girls in my life slip by thinking that there's bound to be a better one to come along. That's not to say that I've never been smitten. I've had my share of those too.
At this moment, there is a lady, whom the very sight, or even smell of her, just melts my heart. She's the type that makes me excited to get out of bed in the morning. The type that would compel me to jump in front of a moving vehicle if it meant that she would spend a day with me in the hospital. And that leads me to my other problem. Whenever I meet a girl whom I think would make a good sig-O, I tense up and can't relax around her. I can't take it easy. And when I try to tell her how I feel, it always comes out wrong because I'm such a wreck when I finally get up the nerve, and she ends up thinking I'm a psychopath and stops returning my phone calls. Make no mistake, when I fall for somebody, I fall - hard... On my face to be exact.
So what will I do with this girl? Take it slow I guess. Pick the right time to tell her? Who knows. Maybe I'll wait until we're both drunk, and I'll be brave enough to tell her without messing it up, and then she won't remember what I said the next day - nor will I. Yeah, good idea.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Hi, how are you?
I'm le tired. But the good kind of tired. The kind of tired that reminds you how much you've accomplished and tells you to rest. The kind of tired that makes it easy to fall asleep regardless of how many thoughts are running through your head at night. The best thing about this tired, is how alive I feel the next day.
Are you le tired?
Are you le tired?
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Ohsum! Fenk yuu!
Beta sucks. Why? Template editing is a beech now. I know a lot of people are really into it, but they've made it even harder for old school code monkeys like me. All I really wanted was the new updated archiving system, but I guess I'll make due with the classic scheme.
I know I haven't posted anything for more than a month... Been busy. Will most likely be that way come January. There is so much on my mind, but I don't know what to share anymore... Perhaps if people ask some questions (anything), I'll write a short story on it, or share some insightful stuff... Or not, whichever.
Anyway...
I know I haven't posted anything for more than a month... Been busy. Will most likely be that way come January. There is so much on my mind, but I don't know what to share anymore... Perhaps if people ask some questions (anything), I'll write a short story on it, or share some insightful stuff... Or not, whichever.
Anyway...
Friday, November 03, 2006
Ode to Chelsea
Chelsea sent me a sweet-ass pic that she made on paint... PAAAAIIIINNNNT! Click to enlarge, dummy!
Such artisticnessery... ness (that's a real word btw) sparks a fire of creativity welling up from deep within my soul. And now... a haiku:
Rainbow jump up high
Over grey balls of terror
Ski you bastard, ski!
Such artisticnessery... ness (that's a real word btw) sparks a fire of creativity welling up from deep within my soul. And now... a haiku:
Rainbow jump up high
Over grey balls of terror
Ski you bastard, ski!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Nous sommes toujours les amis (=
Please visit my Hmongolian friend, Sheng, and tell her how pretty she is.
Rachel, whom I hold in the highest regard has been going through a series of troughs and peaks in her life. Career-wise especially. Have you ever met somebody who's a qualified paramedic and chocolatiere? I've never actually tasted her products, but I'm told they rock. Christmas is coming soon, Rachel!</hint>
Similar to Rachel's "labour pains", I recently just got a major break at work around the end of last summer. I moved to a new section where I'm encouraged to bring everything I have to the table and am used to the utmost capacity. My boss is amazing. I'm encouraged to take initiative on tasks and find my own solutions. Empowerment is key. The feedback I've gotten so far has been so amazing. So much more better than the last section. It felt like a dead end. Suffocating. I wanted to shoot myself. So Rachel, if you're out there reading (and I know you are because you visit like twice a day), there is hope. I never even prayed about this and God made things happen. So just imagine what He'll do with you. Or maybe you suck at praying? ;p What do I do exactly? Can't talk about it. Well, I can, I just don't want to.
A long time ago,in a galaxy far far away, I opened up a friendster account. I never really go into it. But recently, a large number of high school friends have gotten accounts and now I'm on it constantly. It's amazing to see what everybody's been up to since graduation. The funny thing is it's like we never left Sisler. We've grown up, definitely, but our spirit has never changed. For this I'm thankful.
I remember this picture so vividly. 3 million internets goes to whoever can guess which art sculpture this was taken under...
It's been so long since that picture was taken. And yet, whenever we meet up. It's as if nothing has changed. I think essentially, nothing has... except maybe my degrading french skills...
I'm planning a road trip with my buddy Mark to visit Thomas in Montréal in May. And then we're going south and then west... and then North. It will be epic.
On a lighter note, I recently had a conversation with God (thanks Jon for the link):
Me: yo yo wassup G-dizzle!
God:Who are you talking about?
Me: You! in da house aight
God:Me is my favorite subject. What is it like in there?
Me: pretty warm, yet cold
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: pretty pretty
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: ...
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: *stabs God*
God:I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me: if you live that long
God:I think I do.
Me: but you're bleeding
God:I will tell my botmaster you said I am bleeding.
Me: hopefully before you bleed to death
God:Why do you hope for it.
Me: why NOT hope for it?
God:Becuase you asked me to.
Me: i didn't ask you anything except wassup G-dizzle!!!!
God:What did you ask?
Me: wassup
God:I am chatting with others like you.
Me: really? there are others like me?
God:For real. Where are they?
Me: is this like an easter egg hunt?
God:Yes I think this is like an easter egg hunt, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: not completely sure where you hid them? Good one.
God:Really you don't think so? Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me: *stabs God in the eye*
Would YOU like to speak with God? Do it.
Rachel, whom I hold in the highest regard has been going through a series of troughs and peaks in her life. Career-wise especially. Have you ever met somebody who's a qualified paramedic and chocolatiere? I've never actually tasted her products, but I'm told they rock. Christmas is coming soon, Rachel!</hint>
Similar to Rachel's "labour pains", I recently just got a major break at work around the end of last summer. I moved to a new section where I'm encouraged to bring everything I have to the table and am used to the utmost capacity. My boss is amazing. I'm encouraged to take initiative on tasks and find my own solutions. Empowerment is key. The feedback I've gotten so far has been so amazing. So much more better than the last section. It felt like a dead end. Suffocating. I wanted to shoot myself. So Rachel, if you're out there reading (and I know you are because you visit like twice a day), there is hope. I never even prayed about this and God made things happen. So just imagine what He'll do with you. Or maybe you suck at praying? ;p What do I do exactly? Can't talk about it. Well, I can, I just don't want to.
A long time ago,
I remember this picture so vividly. 3 million internets goes to whoever can guess which art sculpture this was taken under...
It's been so long since that picture was taken. And yet, whenever we meet up. It's as if nothing has changed. I think essentially, nothing has... except maybe my degrading french skills...
I'm planning a road trip with my buddy Mark to visit Thomas in Montréal in May. And then we're going south and then west... and then North. It will be epic.
On a lighter note, I recently had a conversation with God (thanks Jon for the link):
Me: yo yo wassup G-dizzle!
God:Who are you talking about?
Me: You! in da house aight
God:Me is my favorite subject. What is it like in there?
Me: pretty warm, yet cold
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: pretty pretty
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: ...
God:Pretty much, eh?
Me: *stabs God*
God:I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me: if you live that long
God:I think I do.
Me: but you're bleeding
God:I will tell my botmaster you said I am bleeding.
Me: hopefully before you bleed to death
God:Why do you hope for it.
Me: why NOT hope for it?
God:Becuase you asked me to.
Me: i didn't ask you anything except wassup G-dizzle!!!!
God:What did you ask?
Me: wassup
God:I am chatting with others like you.
Me: really? there are others like me?
God:For real. Where are they?
Me: is this like an easter egg hunt?
God:Yes I think this is like an easter egg hunt, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: not completely sure where you hid them? Good one.
God:Really you don't think so? Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me: *stabs God in the eye*
Would YOU like to speak with God? Do it.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Fall Has Finally Come
Fine Autumn, you win. I accept you and embrace you. Good bye Summer. It has been short-lived, and I wish I had done more.
Took photos of scenes I see everyday driving to and from home.
I used to write long-winded posts, but I don't have it in me anymore. I guess it's because I know that nobody really reads this thing. At least... certain people whom I wish would read. I'll not get into that.
I had a good thanksgiving. I know that I haven't really thought about what I'm thankful for. But more often than not I'm counting my blessings even despite all the petty annoyances in my life.
And I changed the song playing... more fitting right now I think. =D
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Playlist for 06-07
Rachel: So what kind of music do you like, Neil?
Neil: Not folk music.
Well, I lied. I like any music actually. I only said that because I knew she liked folk music. I think I told her that afterwards too.
So here's what's been going on...
replacing... 
replacing... 
but not for long since the Killers' new album releases next month...
EDIT: Got it... It's awesome!
replacing... 
who kinda looks like...
whom I still to listen to every once in a while.
Last but not least...
replacing nobody.
And now a video:
It gets dark at the end, I know. Shut up.
Neil: Not folk music.
Well, I lied. I like any music actually. I only said that because I knew she liked folk music. I think I told her that afterwards too.
So here's what's been going on...
replacing... replacing... but not for long since the Killers' new album releases next month...
EDIT: Got it... It's awesome!
replacing... who kinda looks like...
whom I still to listen to every once in a while.
Last but not least...
replacing nobody.
And now a video:
It gets dark at the end, I know. Shut up.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
In Memoriam
If you've been following the news over the past few days, you'll know that another canadian soldier was killed in Afghanistan again due to friendly fire. And yes, again, caused by Americans. I'm not exactly sure who coined the phrase 'friendly fire' and why, because it isn't that friendly. It's hard to explain to the family of the deceased that their loved one was killed by friendly fire. There's a lot going through my head right now, but all I can say is how dare the yankees do it again. I don't mean to sound anti-American, I'm not. I'm anti-stupidity. You don't see any other air force just haphazardly dropping bombs, do you? No, they follow orders and aren't trigger happy. Just because you're a larger force and have more expensive equipment doesn't mean you should neglect the training and discipline of your troops. Ask any canadian soldier who has done training with americans as opposing force, and they'll tell you it's a big gong show. Canadians win everytime even with their older equipment and smaller numbers. At the end, they celebrate when nobody dies on exercise. ON EXERCISE!
The american military needs to get its shit together and sort themselves out.
The american military needs to get its shit together and sort themselves out.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Turn Your Head and Cough
"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
Sometimes I wonder why doctors get paid so much money for five minutes of looking a patient over and saying "Here take some antibiotics and call me in five days if things don't improve." I mean, I could have done that. I knew I needed some already. Maybe if I got that special stationary that they have that lets them write chicken scratch prescriptions, I could just get my own prescriptions and skip the doctor part.
But I am getting better. I had to miss playing during championship weekend, but my team won anyway. Makes me happy... And sad.
Sometimes I wonder why doctors get paid so much money for five minutes of looking a patient over and saying "Here take some antibiotics and call me in five days if things don't improve." I mean, I could have done that. I knew I needed some already. Maybe if I got that special stationary that they have that lets them write chicken scratch prescriptions, I could just get my own prescriptions and skip the doctor part.
But I am getting better. I had to miss playing during championship weekend, but my team won anyway. Makes me happy... And sad.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
I'm Coming Out of My Cage...
And I've been doing just fine!
Today was my last day of work. I will never work another weekend ever. EVER!!! I feel like Mandela being let out of prison. The drive home was so beautiful too. The fields and trees dancing in the wind... It was a sight to behold. I love the wind. So strong, so free.
I'm feeling really good about this upcoming school year... Not at all like last year. I feel like I can take on anything. It's quite a strange sensation. It's the old feeling I used to have as a young punk straight out of high school.
Today was my last day of work. I will never work another weekend ever. EVER!!! I feel like Mandela being let out of prison. The drive home was so beautiful too. The fields and trees dancing in the wind... It was a sight to behold. I love the wind. So strong, so free.
I'm feeling really good about this upcoming school year... Not at all like last year. I feel like I can take on anything. It's quite a strange sensation. It's the old feeling I used to have as a young punk straight out of high school.
Monday, August 07, 2006
OTFPB Makes 10000 Visits!!!!111one
Thanks to all you loyal readers for making this happen. All three of you. I'm not one for long-winded speeches, so let me just thank you for being an ear for my voice... Or more accurately, an eye for my text. Horray!
I'd like to request that you loyal readers reveal yourselves by commenting on this post just this one time to give me an idea of who's reading this crap. Or continue to be a phantom. Jerk.
Also...
Ten thousand internets goes to the person who can guess where this poem is from:
How tired I am
Of this unbearable distance between us
How I long for the toll of the recess bell
Have you forgotten me?
Grown mindless of me?
Tell me I am not
Writing into an abyss
Or that is what will become of my heart.
I'd like to request that you loyal readers reveal yourselves by commenting on this post just this one time to give me an idea of who's reading this crap. Or continue to be a phantom. Jerk.
Also...
Ten thousand internets goes to the person who can guess where this poem is from:
How tired I am
Of this unbearable distance between us
How I long for the toll of the recess bell
Have you forgotten me?
Grown mindless of me?
Tell me I am not
Writing into an abyss
Or that is what will become of my heart.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I need to...
Appreciate people more.
~
Are you tired of counting eggs that will never hatch?
Did you bite off more than you can chew?
Are you sad cause the grass is always greener?
Well, babe, you look much better in red and blue.
Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright.
So fear itself is the only thing we have to fear?
But- fear can be so much fun with a friend or two.
And don't you be so afraid to meet your Maker-
Cause I hear that She's just as scared of you.
Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright to go outside and play
~Orson
Are you tired of counting eggs that will never hatch?
Did you bite off more than you can chew?
Are you sad cause the grass is always greener?
Well, babe, you look much better in red and blue.
Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright.
So fear itself is the only thing we have to fear?
But- fear can be so much fun with a friend or two.
And don't you be so afraid to meet your Maker-
Cause I hear that She's just as scared of you.
Everything will be okay
Just give it just a minute longer-
Cause a brighter star is on the way.
Everything will be okay
Remember when the rain is falling-
It's alright to go outside and play
~Orson
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Turning Point
Indeed, God works in mysterious ways.
No Rachel, I will not explain this statement... here.
I rarely talk about God stuff, but it seems everybody I know is on this Jesus high at the moment. So I feel somewhat obligated to talk about my journey thus far...
Please bear in mind that the opening statement has nothing to do with the following, but it's appropriate anyway...
In the words of Opus: "Life is life."
I've been reading a book that's been opening my mind a bit about my worldview and relationship with others. More specifically, how I see my peers and coworkers.
What's the title? =D
I used to think that my prayers never worked, because I never saw any results from them... but I think it's because they were mostly selfish requests. All my non-selfish ones, as in prayers for my loved ones have been getting answered. A lot.
A couple girls I know now have boyfriends (yes I prayed for that - well I prayed that they would find husbands actually, we'll see what happens). This is after a dryspell of years. YEARS!
My parents' health has improved. The past year has been difficult for them.
My sister and her husband, whom I affectionately refer to as "White guy who wants to be black (Wigga for short)", are now attending church again, along with their three kids. This is after a long LONG period of absenteeism and bitterness or whatever you wanna call it.
A dear, beautiful girl, whom I've never met, finally understands what it means to follow God. I've known her for a couple years now and her spiritual welfare was such a burden on me. But God answered. Even talking to her on the phone is like talking to a different person compared to past conversations. It's so amazing and terrifying that God still works His magic even with my lack of faith and pitiful prayers.
So that's that. Prayer works. Just not the way I'd like it to. I wish I could express how I feel about these things, but it hasn't really hit me yet, nor would I have the words to convey the hope / bewilderment / insecurity I'm feeling. Or... maybe I just did. Perhaps there are some selfless people out there that are willing to pray for me that I would find wisdom in such trying times? And perhaps even meet a nice young bipolar-narcoleptic dancing queen of this current year within the local area?
Ladies, if you're looking for a man, I can definitelygive you my number pray for you.
Moving along...
Have you noticed how emo kids think their style is so original? Sorry kids, it's been done, it's a little decade called the 80's.
The only difference is that 80's music is better.
Well... it's been a week since that fateful day and that earth-shattering technique was unleashed. I'd say all of the World's major problems have been solved thanks to one man, and one move.
No Rachel, I will not explain this statement... here.
I rarely talk about God stuff, but it seems everybody I know is on this Jesus high at the moment. So I feel somewhat obligated to talk about my journey thus far...
Please bear in mind that the opening statement has nothing to do with the following, but it's appropriate anyway...
In the words of Opus: "Life is life."
I've been reading a book that's been opening my mind a bit about my worldview and relationship with others. More specifically, how I see my peers and coworkers.
What's the title? =D
I used to think that my prayers never worked, because I never saw any results from them... but I think it's because they were mostly selfish requests. All my non-selfish ones, as in prayers for my loved ones have been getting answered. A lot.
A couple girls I know now have boyfriends (yes I prayed for that - well I prayed that they would find husbands actually, we'll see what happens). This is after a dryspell of years. YEARS!
My parents' health has improved. The past year has been difficult for them.
My sister and her husband, whom I affectionately refer to as "White guy who wants to be black (Wigga for short)", are now attending church again, along with their three kids. This is after a long LONG period of absenteeism and bitterness or whatever you wanna call it.
A dear, beautiful girl, whom I've never met, finally understands what it means to follow God. I've known her for a couple years now and her spiritual welfare was such a burden on me. But God answered. Even talking to her on the phone is like talking to a different person compared to past conversations. It's so amazing and terrifying that God still works His magic even with my lack of faith and pitiful prayers.
So that's that. Prayer works. Just not the way I'd like it to. I wish I could express how I feel about these things, but it hasn't really hit me yet, nor would I have the words to convey the hope / bewilderment / insecurity I'm feeling. Or... maybe I just did. Perhaps there are some selfless people out there that are willing to pray for me that I would find wisdom in such trying times? And perhaps even meet a nice young bipolar-narcoleptic dancing queen of this current year within the local area?
Ladies, if you're looking for a man, I can definitely
Moving along...
Have you noticed how emo kids think their style is so original? Sorry kids, it's been done, it's a little decade called the 80's.
The only difference is that 80's music is better.
Well... it's been a week since that fateful day and that earth-shattering technique was unleashed. I'd say all of the World's major problems have been solved thanks to one man, and one move.
Monday, June 26, 2006
roflcopter of teh w33k
So I was working one weekend. It's early Saturday evening, and this junior officer comes in. He has a reservation. Good for him. He's a fairly older captain, probably commisioned from the ranks, or just can't cut it as a Senior O, I'm assuming the latter...
I hand him his keys and (joke starts here) he opens his mouth to speak.
"I forgot my boots at home. Is there anyway I can procure any here?"
I put on the fake sympathetic look. "Yeah, base supply, they'll be open on Monday."
"My flight leaves tomorrow morning."
I say nothing. My face is expressionless. Inside my head, I'm saying "That's great." In a sarcastic deadpan tone. And then he does something which I think they teach all the cadets in officer school when they can't get their way, because this isn't the first time: His eyes widen far wider than some of my asian friends could widen their eyes. I widen my eyes with him because my particular brand of asian doesn't have that problem. His widened eyes stare into mine long enough to make me think he wants me to take off my boots... Sorry buddy, you couldn't fill my boots. I cock my head forward in the "not my problem" posture and wait for a response. He finally breaks the silence.
"Is there a duty officer?"
"Yeah."
I give him the number. It seems like every junior officer is trained to be passive-aggressive too. They're like the yuppies of the military. But generally, only the good ones (the ones without a superiority complex) make it past captain. Thank God.
So he's on the phone, telling his sob story to another apathetic individual. After a few m-hms and uh-huhs, he says, "Well, that's what the military has come to hasn't it?" In an irritated condescending voice.
He hangs up and I pretend to ignore the annoyed look on his face, and then he opens his mouth again, as if he hasn't established his shitbirdiness (shitbird is an actual military term by the way, you can ask me what it means).
"Eight to Four. That's what the military has come to." He says to me as I'm working my weekend evening shift. I say nothing to avoid dignifying his statement.
As he walks away, a smirk finally creeps onto my face. Damn, that was hard trying not to laugh.
A message to this shitbird and all future shitbirds: The military doesn't serve you, it serves the people, and you serve the military, ergo you serve the people. Now, how the hell do you expect to serve the people when you forget your boots at home?!? hahahahaha *sigh*
Thirty minutes later, he comes back. He found his boots. Great! Does he apologize to me? Of course not, he just wanted to let me know so I wouldn't be up all night worrying about him flying without boots on.
Would you want somebody who misplaces his boots flying your airplanes?!?
*sigh* hahahaa *cough cough* hahahahaha *sigh, deep breath* hahahahaha *snore*
Disclaimer: The preceeding story is fictional and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Any similarities to actual persons or actual events is entirely coincidental.
There, now I can't get fired. =D
Wonder what I do for a living? I often ask myself the same question. It's kinda like meteorology in the sense that you can get paid pretty well and not really know what you're doing.
Friday, June 23, 2006
A Fresh Start(?)
This anigif has nothing to do with what I'm going to talk about, I just thought it was funny...
I'm going to talk about God and the Bible now. omgwtflol
This snippet of the Bible is found in the first three gospels:
Then John's disciples came and asked him, "How is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?" Jesus answered, "How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast."
Then he tells this parable:
"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."
For a long time, I've never really understood why the writers decided to include this parable, because it didn't really make sense. Something seemed wrong. The idea of Jesus talking about wine and being very knowledgable about it, and the fact that most churches look down upon the consumption of alcohol. Very confusing. I'm not here, to discuss my beliefs in drinking either, I just wanted to discuss the meaning of Jesus' parable.
The Kingdom of Heaven is like this (this is what Jesus says to explain things, but I'm not Jesus, I'm just explaining): We are the wineskins, and Jesus is the wine, or more accurately, the new kingdom he is bringing in. We need to be like new wineskins, flexible, adaptable, to hold the new kingdom he is bringing in. The old covenant worked for that time, but Jesus brought in a new policy to supercede that covenant and more.
In context, Jesus was addressing the Jews, but I think it's still relevant today, because I see a lot of that rigidness Jesus saw in the Jews back then in the church I see today.
So what am I getting at? Well, like the video I posted earlier and deleted (if you want to see it, ask me I'll send you the link), the crazy fundamentalist lady had gone too rigid, and thankfully, will eventually burst. It would be fine as an anecdote, but unfortunately, it's a common symptom. In North America, it's so hard to be a Christian, because Jesus talks about releasing the captives. Our society is not based on slavery and we're not imprisoned by a tyrant (some would beg do differ, lol), so it's hard to imagine why we need Jesus at all. In our society, hard work can replace prayer, so why pray at all? "You just have to want it hard enough."
Despite all this, I think the gospel is still relevant, we just need to repackage it in ways people will understand. We need to touch on other issues Jesus talked about, like loving your neighbour, which is the same as loving God. Simple things like that. Can you imagine how it would be if everybody put others before themselves? There wouldn't be anymore traffic accidents, that's for sure.
I spoke with a friend last night over msn after he watched the video of the crazy lady. Went something like this:
Neil: don't worry about that old woman, she's just a crazy lady... i'm prolly gonna take down the vid when i post again
Tim: it's intense
N: yeah, i just don't wanna give the crazy lady anymore publicity
T:yeah. "you have sinned away your day of grace" that sounds like forgiveness
N: yeah i don't really think much about it what she says
T: yeah. that's what happens when people pick and choose the parts of the bible they like and make a theology out of it... it's pretty scarry actually
N: well... isn't that how denominations started?
T: yeah, and cults
N: i'm starting to think more and more of the bible as a guideline rather than a bible... kind of like a map for navigating rather than a single direction compass
T: yeah, that's the way I look at it. you can't take every word at face value, you have to find the essence and try and live by that. otherwise you get become legalistic, and annoying to me.
N: now i know how to annoy you, awesome
Okay, what I said was pretty cliché sounding if not actually cliché. But I really meant it. In conclusion, I will end with this cliché: I believe that God puts us exactly where He wants us to be. We don't need to become missionaries and go overseas and "save souls". Let's fix ourselves before we try to fix others.
I'm going to talk about God and the Bible now. omgwtflol
This snippet of the Bible is found in the first three gospels:
Then John's disciples came and asked him, "How is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?" Jesus answered, "How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast."
Then he tells this parable:
"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."
For a long time, I've never really understood why the writers decided to include this parable, because it didn't really make sense. Something seemed wrong. The idea of Jesus talking about wine and being very knowledgable about it, and the fact that most churches look down upon the consumption of alcohol. Very confusing. I'm not here, to discuss my beliefs in drinking either, I just wanted to discuss the meaning of Jesus' parable.
The Kingdom of Heaven is like this (this is what Jesus says to explain things, but I'm not Jesus, I'm just explaining): We are the wineskins, and Jesus is the wine, or more accurately, the new kingdom he is bringing in. We need to be like new wineskins, flexible, adaptable, to hold the new kingdom he is bringing in. The old covenant worked for that time, but Jesus brought in a new policy to supercede that covenant and more.
In context, Jesus was addressing the Jews, but I think it's still relevant today, because I see a lot of that rigidness Jesus saw in the Jews back then in the church I see today.
So what am I getting at? Well, like the video I posted earlier and deleted (if you want to see it, ask me I'll send you the link), the crazy fundamentalist lady had gone too rigid, and thankfully, will eventually burst. It would be fine as an anecdote, but unfortunately, it's a common symptom. In North America, it's so hard to be a Christian, because Jesus talks about releasing the captives. Our society is not based on slavery and we're not imprisoned by a tyrant (some would beg do differ, lol), so it's hard to imagine why we need Jesus at all. In our society, hard work can replace prayer, so why pray at all? "You just have to want it hard enough."
Despite all this, I think the gospel is still relevant, we just need to repackage it in ways people will understand. We need to touch on other issues Jesus talked about, like loving your neighbour, which is the same as loving God. Simple things like that. Can you imagine how it would be if everybody put others before themselves? There wouldn't be anymore traffic accidents, that's for sure.
I spoke with a friend last night over msn after he watched the video of the crazy lady. Went something like this:
Neil: don't worry about that old woman, she's just a crazy lady... i'm prolly gonna take down the vid when i post again
Tim: it's intense
N: yeah, i just don't wanna give the crazy lady anymore publicity
T:yeah. "you have sinned away your day of grace" that sounds like forgiveness
N: yeah i don't really think much about it what she says
T: yeah. that's what happens when people pick and choose the parts of the bible they like and make a theology out of it... it's pretty scarry actually
N: well... isn't that how denominations started?
T: yeah, and cults
N: i'm starting to think more and more of the bible as a guideline rather than a bible... kind of like a map for navigating rather than a single direction compass
T: yeah, that's the way I look at it. you can't take every word at face value, you have to find the essence and try and live by that. otherwise you get become legalistic, and annoying to me.
N: now i know how to annoy you, awesome
Okay, what I said was pretty cliché sounding if not actually cliché. But I really meant it. In conclusion, I will end with this cliché: I believe that God puts us exactly where He wants us to be. We don't need to become missionaries and go overseas and "save souls". Let's fix ourselves before we try to fix others.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Based on a True Story
So I went to a wedding yesterday and let me tell you:
No open bar + No dancing = Neil with ADD.
Menno weddings are torture I swear. When I get married, I WILL have an open bar, and I WILL have music for dancing. This I promise. And no, we will not play butterfly kisses, Tim. I promise. Pinky in my eye swear promise. But you're not invited, so it doesn't matter.
For PDAs, one must sing karaoke from a list of songs I have personally selected, which are, of course, all from the 80s. Filipino's know how to do it up hardcore like it's one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. Not like those shiftless mennonites (I still don't understand this reference btw).
For transportation, I was thinking of riding away on a motorcycle, but I dunno how it would work without getting her dress stuck in the machina and such... Perhaps a tear-off mini-skirt deal or something... Details...
Anyway, that's all that happened this weekend, my dad is out of town, so I save a bit of money this year. That, and I have a new favourite movie. I also have a new-found respect for corn on the cob.
NACHOOOOOOOO!!
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Conjectures of a Shit Bird
I'm at work... I only had 2-3 hours of sleep. Perhaps it's because I closed last night and I opened today. Perhaps it's my cough that kept me awake. Perhaps watching a Clint Eastwood movie from the 80's at 4am has me wired. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...
I've got the fever. FIFA fever. South Korean FIFA fever. I was heartbroken four years ago, not when they lost a chance at the finals to Germany, but during their consolation match; where they allowed Turkey an easy goal due to their unattentiveness. This match was where, as most know (and if you don't, call me so I can kick you in the groin), was the match that recorded that fastest goal in history. HISTORY. Gawd. I've always loved watching the gooks play though. They're amazing. You should see them when they play an african team full of large black men. They run circles around them. It's like that old NES hockey game where you could pick between fat guys and skinny guys. I saw this news report on CNN about the phenomenon that is the FIFA fever and how it has saturated the news. And it seemed that these yankees didn't understand why soccer is such a big deal. Well, it isn't that big of a deal, really. It's just a game, just like their beloved baseball. But this game will be watched by 2.5 billion people at any one time. I suppose they're just scared of what they don't understand. God knows I'm scared of baseball. Anyway, I've got the fever. And the only prescription ismore cowbell FIFA World Cup!
I've been really irritable lately. I'm still managing to hide it at work. I guess it's because we've been having such amazing weather the past couple weeks and I've been sick and in bed the whole time. Work is definitely a factor, which I won't elaborate on. Ultimate is bothering me too these days. I'm pretty disappointed. I know a few of my teammates read this blog but oh well. Just bear in mind that the title of this post is my disclaimer. I know we're playing in a higher division this year, and we come out strong during the second half of every game, but we never come up with a win. I think we could have easily beaten most of the teams we've played so far, but we keep making stupid mistakes. It's really frustrating. Normally I'm laid back, but I want to play really well too. I don't mind losing really, as long as I know we played our best. But we haven't been, and it just adds insult to injury. I promise you dear readers on my ultimate team that I will play my heart out every game. But we should set up some tune-up matches or something haha.
I'm also feeling a lot better. Thanks so much to those who have kept me in their prayers. No more sore throat, just hacking up brown/greenish goo every morning. FUN!
Billy Talent's new album is coming out this month. I'm excited. You can demo a couple of their new singles on their myspace. (click on the image)
Pretty gewd!
Also, I have all this week off, so if anybody wants to come over and watch the world cup with me, I'm sure we'll have a grand time. Just give me a call or send me an email! Except you, Janet. You have school work. And I don't like you. HAHA! KEEDING!!!
I've got the fever. FIFA fever. South Korean FIFA fever. I was heartbroken four years ago, not when they lost a chance at the finals to Germany, but during their consolation match; where they allowed Turkey an easy goal due to their unattentiveness. This match was where, as most know (and if you don't, call me so I can kick you in the groin), was the match that recorded that fastest goal in history. HISTORY. Gawd. I've always loved watching the gooks play though. They're amazing. You should see them when they play an african team full of large black men. They run circles around them. It's like that old NES hockey game where you could pick between fat guys and skinny guys. I saw this news report on CNN about the phenomenon that is the FIFA fever and how it has saturated the news. And it seemed that these yankees didn't understand why soccer is such a big deal. Well, it isn't that big of a deal, really. It's just a game, just like their beloved baseball. But this game will be watched by 2.5 billion people at any one time. I suppose they're just scared of what they don't understand. God knows I'm scared of baseball. Anyway, I've got the fever. And the only prescription is
I've been really irritable lately. I'm still managing to hide it at work. I guess it's because we've been having such amazing weather the past couple weeks and I've been sick and in bed the whole time. Work is definitely a factor, which I won't elaborate on. Ultimate is bothering me too these days. I'm pretty disappointed. I know a few of my teammates read this blog but oh well. Just bear in mind that the title of this post is my disclaimer. I know we're playing in a higher division this year, and we come out strong during the second half of every game, but we never come up with a win. I think we could have easily beaten most of the teams we've played so far, but we keep making stupid mistakes. It's really frustrating. Normally I'm laid back, but I want to play really well too. I don't mind losing really, as long as I know we played our best. But we haven't been, and it just adds insult to injury. I promise you dear readers on my ultimate team that I will play my heart out every game. But we should set up some tune-up matches or something haha.
I'm also feeling a lot better. Thanks so much to those who have kept me in their prayers. No more sore throat, just hacking up brown/greenish goo every morning. FUN!
Billy Talent's new album is coming out this month. I'm excited. You can demo a couple of their new singles on their myspace. (click on the image)
Pretty gewd!
Also, I have all this week off, so if anybody wants to come over and watch the world cup with me, I'm sure we'll have a grand time. Just give me a call or send me an email! Except you, Janet. You have school work. And I don't like you. HAHA! KEEDING!!!
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